AboutJudith Brandt Expertise I can answer questions regarding how to cheat and get away with it. I also have an extensive understanding of why people marry in the first place, and where the urge to cheat comes from. Love is an emotion programmed to self-destruct.
Experience Ten years 'in the field', on both sides of the adultery fence. My book THE 50-MILE RULE: Your Guide to Infidelity and Extra-marital Etiquette will be coming out in June, 2002 from Ten Speed Press.
Education/Credentials I have an MBA and an MA in Education
Expert: Judith Brandt Date: 5/14/2008 Subject: Im cheating on my husband......
Question and I'm honestly trying to figure out why I do this as i love my husband to bits and we have a pretty good marriage with the normal ups and downs but in general a good relationship with common goals, dreams etc.
I have only been cheating with the one same person and all it really is, is good exciting sex, even tho my husband and i have a healthy sex life as well. My husband and i have been together for 7 years and the extra marital sex started about a year ago and it is with an ex lover of mine that is also married with children (we do not have children). My lover and i both do not want to leave our marriages or spouses but we also both want to continue our sex 'hook ups well. We remained friends after our relationship ended originally which was more of a sexual relationship than anything else at the time.
We only get together about every 2-3 months for about 2 hours at a time but there is daily contact thru text messages and occasional phone sex.
What I really want to know is WHY do i do this? as I NEVER want to hurt my husband by him finding out, as its got nothing to do with him or our marriage and i don't want us to split and no, I don't want to be permanently with my lover.
Its like i have this whole secret side to myself that i love cause its adventuress, exciting and sadly makes me feel good but then in my reality of life, I then live a nice married life.
Why do i do this?? Help.....
Answer Hi there:
There are any number of reasons that you're stepping out on your husband. Maybe you married before you'd gotten the desire to be with other people out of your system, maybe you've reached the disillusion stage of your marriage without realizing it, maybe you need the excitement that comes along with infatuation, maybe you want a baby consicously or not and this other man is a good bet to father that child, if not raise it, or to at least kick off some sperm warfare.
Whatever the reason, if you're going to continue on this track, be discreet and cautious. Scale back the texting which is an excellent way to get found out. If you "love your husband to bits," the last thing you want him to do is find out what you are up to. And keep in mind, if affairs aren't fun, they aren't worth pursuing. The minute keeping up your outside relationship is more trouble than it's worth, end it.
