AboutLaura Giles Expertise Marital, relationship, adultery, children out of wedlock, divorce, custody, visitation, support, co-parenting, mediation, counseling, group counseling, step-parenting, pre-marital, and reconciling issues
Experience I teach parent education classes and a group for people who are trying to strengthen their relationships in addition to providing individual counseling. I am the author of the upcoming book "The Other Child: Children of Affairs."
Organizations International Association for Regression Research and Therapies Inc
National Association of Social Workers
C. Jung Society of Tidewater
Publications The Other Child: Children of Affairs
Education/Credentials BS in Human Services Counseling- Old Dominion University
Master of Social Work- Norfolk State University
Awards and Honors National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals
Expert: Laura Giles Date: 5/18/2008 Subject: affairs
Question My wife has been a very clingy and jealous person since I met her. I was suprised that her trust in me did not grow over time, not that I ever had done anything to break her trust. Her accusations had began to grow in repetition and in severity over the last few years, to the point that I was short of breathe and crying uncontrollably one time, and i am not a wimp, but i had just been stabbed at with so many accusations that I was hurt deeply. Long story short, I reached a point that i thought that if im going to be treated this way I wanted to cheat. I did. What do I do now? I told her about it and ended the affair, but its like we are back exactly where we were before. Im going insane.
Answer Hello Mike,
My suggestion is that you both do individual counseling- you to address your controlling relationship and her to address her insecurity. When you have established some growth, then I would suggest couple's counseling. I don't think that couple's counseling would be of benefit until you are both emotionally stronger as individuals.
In the meantime, I would also suggest that you both strengthen your support systems. You can't be supportive of each other through the affair because you are too vulnerable. So choose someone "safe" (meaning someone who isn't a threat to the other) to lean on while you take care of yourselves.
