AllExperts > Experts 
Search      

Adultery

Volunteer
Answers to thousands of questions
 Home · More Questions · Answer Library  · Encyclopedia ·
More Adultery Answers
Question Library

Ask a question about Adultery
Volunteer
Experts of the Month
Expert Login

Awards

About Us
Tell friends
Link to Us
Disclaimer

 
 
 
 
About Pastor Kimberly Lemler
Expertise
As an Ordained Minister, Life Coach, and Pastoral Counselor, I can help you with questions related to adultery. I was a victim of adultery in my first marriage so I understand deeply the feelings that one has in this situation. How we choose to respond to the situation is vital in our recovery. Letting go of bitterness and unforgiveness is key, and I can teach you how to do that. I have been happily remarried for 16 years.

Outside of AllExperts I can be reached at: Walk By Faith Counseling Center www.GodsHealingPower.org

Experience
I have personal experience with a husband who committed adultery and have counseled people in this area. I have a weekly radio broadcast and also do street ministry, phone ministry,in-office ministry, e-mail ministry and have ministered on a worldwide prayerline. I am a life coach as well.

Publications
Teaching CD's available on our website, GodsHealingPower.org. Look for several of our books to be published and on the website.

Education/Credentials
I am a former school teacher, a graduate of Indiana University, 1984. I have received biblical instruction at Victory Bible Institute and am currently working on a PhD.

 
   

You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > Adultery > HELP

Topic: Adultery



Expert: Pastor Kimberly Lemler
Date: 7/4/2008
Subject: HELP

Question
QUESTION: i found out text messages exchanges between my wife and her former boss such as "i want to make luv 2u", "i want 2b with u","we'll b together soon". the guy is in the military and my wife works as a military housing coordinator in that base. he's been restationed in another country and he'll be retiring in a year. he plans to come back and work as a contractor like my wife. part of her job is to inspect their rooms including that of her ex-boss. i can't stop thinking that they are having sex while he's still here due to their access in the rooms. i haven't told my wife that i know about them and keeps pretending everythings ok. i don't know how to confront her. i used to think that she's the last wife 2 do this to her husband, aside from having a good and happy family we are both christians and active in our church. i can't go on pretending that everythings normal, i'm hurting bad.

ANSWER: Hi Donnie,

You need to confront her as soon as possible. Sit her down and tell her that you know. And that you expect her to put an end to this NOW. Tell her you are going to go see your pastor and get counsel from him. ( I do recommend this..).  I don't know your wife, but if she knows that you know, it may scare her into putting a stop to all of this. Then again, it may give her relief from all the lying and she may run to him... It's hard to say which way she will go.

In any case, she needs to be confronted. You have to protect yourself from any STD's that she may have caught from this guy, so your wife would need to get checked out medically if she wants to stay with you and continue having sex with you.  Don't risk your health...

 If you are a Christian, then you know that the power of God is strong and you need to tap into His strength right now. You need to be in the Word daily, praying OFTEN, you need to be doing spiritual warfare against the enemy, who is blinding your wife with lust and a spirit of whoredoms. Do you know anything about spiritual warfare? Some Christians have no clue, so that's why I am asking. Let me know about your walk with God and what you have or haven't been taught... that will give me some guidelines so I know what to tell you..

 I will be back in the office again on Monday...

 Pastor Kim
 GodsHealingPower.org

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: i'll confront her after july 25, so not to spoil my son's 5th birthday. the text msgs exchanges become worse, they've become dirtier and far more sexual. do you think i should keep checking her phone until i confront her? how do i do spiritual warfare? how and what will i pray for? God Bless

Answer
Hi Donnie,

 That's 3 weeks away. Are you sure you want to hold on until then? Yes, I would continue to check up on her and get all the proof you can. But I don't think I would wait that long.

 Spiritual warfare is something I can't teach you in one letter. You need to read whole books on the subject. I recommend the following:

 Dressed to Kill by Rick Renner
 Shadow Boxing by Dr. Henry Malone
 They Shall Expel Demons by Derek Prince
 Blessing or Curse by Derek Prince
 
 These books will be very helpful to you in learning all about what the bible teaches on this topic. You will begin to understand your power and authority in Christ to overcome all the power of the enemy in your life...

 Pastor Kim

******************************************************************

Spouse Confession

Jesus said:

MARK 11:23 NKJ
23 "For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will come to pass, he will have whatever he says."

Therefore, I say:

My _____ is a great help and blessing to me.

_____ is patient, kind, humble, smart, wise, pleasant, joyful, attractive, understanding, unselfish, faithful, honest, loyal, healthy, energetic, strong, accurate, dependable, a great _____, a great _____, and a great blessing to me.

_____ always walks and talks in faith and love.

_____ is growing in faith and in the knowledge of God's will.

_____ does me good and not evil all the days of _____ life.

_____ desires to do God's will.

_____ loves me, respects me, trusts me, and desires to please me.  

Add to this Answer    Ask a Question



  Rate this Answer
   Was this answer helpful?
Not at allDefinitely              
   12345  

     
About Us | Advertise on This Site | User Agreement | Privacy Policy | Help
Copyright  © 2008 About, Inc. About and About.com are registered trademarks of About, Inc. The About logo is a trademark of About, Inc. All rights reserved.