	AllExperts > Adultery
	Search

About Laura Giles
Expertise
Marital, relationship, adultery, children out of wedlock, divorce, custody, visitation, support, co-parenting, mediation, counseling, group counseling, step-parenting, pre-marital, and reconciling issues

Experience
I teach parent education classes and a group for people who are trying to strengthen their relationships in addition to providing individual counseling. I am the author of the upcoming book "The Other Child: Children of Affairs."

Organizations
National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals
National Guild of Hypnotists
National Association of Social Workers
Honorary chairman of the Business Advisory Council
Virginia Mediation Network

Publications
The Other Child: Children of Affairs, The Daily Herald (Chicago), New You, The Journal Gazette, Almeda Times-Star, Tacoma News Tribune, East West Woman. Tidewater Women, Dimensions

Education/Credentials
BS in Human Services Counseling- Old Dominion University
Master of Social Work- Norfolk State University Licensed clinical social worker

Awards and Honors
National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > Adultery > Affair

Adultery - Affair

Expert: Laura Giles - 11/3/2009

Question
I had an affair with a co-worker for 6 weeks. I blame myself for everything because I feel that I started it. But having said that, I developed feelings for this man and he did not. He's married with 2 small children. I felt used, cheap, you name it. He physically abused me, and mentally abused me as well. He even made a comment about my daughter. I have a very forgiving husband and daughter (14 yrs old). I am in counceling and he said I'm suffering from PTSD from what he did. I'm having trouble getting past this. I still feel like I'm pineing for him. We don't really speak anymore and I feel like you go from all that attention to nothing. I'm so hurt and want to move past this but don't know how. I also wanted to know if he really told his wife although that shouldn't matter to me either. Please help.

Answer
Dear Lisa,

I think your current feelings are probably connected to why you had the affair in the first place. Sounds like you were looking for attention or approval or just to feel good. My guess is the best way to get rid of the hurt from this is to find healthy ways of getting attention, approval and feeling good. If you do, you won't allow someone to abuse you in order to get the things from them that make you feel good.

So, my advice is to talk with your counselor and brainstorm about what you got from it. What made this relationship so valuable that you were willing to have an affair with someone who wasn't so nice. If you can figure that out, it will go a long way towards healing and making wiser choices in the future.

Sincerely,

Laura Giles

Add to this Answer Ask a Question