Question I'm 40 years old I have been with my husband for 25 years, we have 3 children together he has six all together one in which he made while we were together. Our marriage is pretty good now, however I have a secret that I been keeping from all of them my husband and my children. I have been have an affair with someone they know for almost 12 years. He is married also and has been for 27 years. My husband has accuse me of have something with him but I just lied and denied it. What's worst than all of this is my daughter works for him at both his businesses she have worked for one for about 6 years. I even went as far as having sex with him at his house, I also have started working for him and his wife at the new business. I have tried to call it off just last week but he refuses to give up he will call my phone back to back he will even call my daughters phone and act like he need to ask me something are to do something for him I love him but I also love my husband too. So I don't know what to do because it really has gotten out of hand with me working for him and his wife but everytime I try to quit they come up with something to try to get me to stay. I feel I need to leave because this is really getting out of control it's going to far he passes by my house he expect that we get together at least once a week to have sex. If we don't he act like the world is coming to an end. What should I do how can I fix this mess I made I love him and part of me don't want to give him up but I know deep down that's what is best.
Answer Hello Shawn,
Q: What should I do- how can I fix this mess I made?
A: Refuse to be drawn into it. Quit working there. Quit talking to him. Don't take the phone from your daughter. Don't see him in private. Block his email. Stop all contact. You have control over what you do and say. You're not a puppet who's strings are being pulled by someone else. Yes, it's hard to break off with your lover, but there is no secret to how to do it. You just make yourself do it.
You can see where this is going. If it escalates it is going to come out and it will be a much bigger mess then.
Marital, relationship, adultery, children out of wedlock, divorce, custody, visitation, support, co-parenting, mediation, counseling, group counseling, step-parenting, pre-marital, and reconciling issues
I teach parent education classes and a group for people who are trying to strengthen their relationships in addition to providing individual counseling. I am the author of "The Other Child: Children of Affairs."
Organizations National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals
National Guild of Hypnotists
National Association of Social Workers
Honorary chairman of the Business Advisory Council
Virginia Mediation Network
Publications The Other Child: Children of Affairs, The Daily Herald (Chicago), New You, The Journal Gazette, Almeda Times-Star, Tacoma News Tribune, East West Woman. Tidewater Women, Dimensions
Education/Credentials BS in Human Services Counseling- Old Dominion University
Master of Social Work- Norfolk State University
Licensed clinical social worker
Awards and Honors National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals