Hi, I'm suspicious of my husbands actions towards a 21 yrar old girl that lives with us. We took her in she is a friend if my sons. My husband has flirted with friends and strangers in bars in the past when he had a drinking problem. He has been sober for three years now. The problem is I see how he acts around her. He is overly concerned about everything she does and he gets upset if she goes out with guys.  Then one day he told her she didn't have to tell me everything they talk about.  I thought that was strange. He says because I overreact to things he say to her but I don't buy it. He is always staring at her and he try's to be witty around her. Please tell me what his intentions are.

Dear Lisa,

I am so sorry for taking so long.  Please don't rate me badly for timeliness!  My email has been down for two months and just came back on!

I would not say anything is going on between them at this point, but I would say that you had better find another place for this young woman to stay because relationships never stay still.  It's always either getting closer of farther away, and in this case it looks like it's getting closer.  Based on the actions you describe it really looks like your husband's relationship with this girl is on the upswing.  If they develop too close a connection before she leaves your home, then they will remain connected after she's someplace else and then real trouble could start.  I'm glad you are looking into this situation now, because it could get dangerous very, very easily, especially with her living in your home.

He will give you an argument when you begin taking action to move her someplace else, but your position is that it's wrong even to have a single girl that age living in the home with your husband.  It's morally wrong, flat out.  Are you kidding?  Very, very few wives would allow something like that, and you should not be one of them.  If he asks why now, just say you've been thinking about the situation and you realize it isn't right, and the time to change something is the day you realize it isn't right, end of story.

Thanks so much for confiding in me!  You are welcome to follow up with any relevant details and ask as often as you need.  It's so much nicer to prevent the crime than to deal with the aftermath!  You have no idea!  Thanks again,


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