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Adultery/how do i end this


Me and my crush used to work together now we work for diff companies in the same building, on the same floor ….I’m 31 female and my crush is 41 male (with a 12 yr old son) well he flirts all the time with me, passes by my office daily, touches me in some form so I asked him was he single he said yes and smiled at me. I didn’t believe him, I said you are too cute to be single he smiled again…well I got some guts and asked lunch and he said we’ll see well, that never happened…I found it odd since he picks on me daily and flirts and stares at me, even mutual friends thought we were dating…so I did some research and found out he is engaged and has been for three years, I don’t understand why he lied and said he was single unless he wanted to cheat….I’ve noticed when he sees me with other men or people in general he gets jealous hearted and he just stares at me with this hurt sometimes angry look on his face. I’ve never told him I know he is engaged, because if I do he will know I was digging on his Facebook page, and I don’t want him to think of me as a stalker…I love talking to him etc…..but I really don’t know if I should say something at all … till this day he still flits and stares at me and picks on me….. if I’m out during lunchtime he will wait for me so we can walk back to the office together etc….even some of our mutual work “friends” think we are dating but we aren’t, I don’t understand him, he is engaged and there are no feelings for me in any shape or form, and he doesn’t like me like that, (hence the we never went to lunch), nor want me for a g/f then why is he acting this way? Should I end all contact with him? if so, how do i go about doing that, thanks for your help.

Dear Karen,

Yes, you should end all contact with him. He has pledged his future to someone else. It doesn't matter if you like him or he likes you. It can't be. He has committed elsewhere. It's a dead end of the painful street.

His behavior says he is conflicted, but it is not your problem to figure out. You can't solve it, understand it, or help him. This is something he has to do for himself.

My advice: don't borrow trouble. We all have enough of our own.

If you are in different companies, you should have no trouble avoiding him. You don't really have any reason to see him. Change your habits. He won't see you if you make yourself unavailable. Think of it this way. If you were his fiancee, and you knew your boyfriend was flirting with someone else, what behavior would you want from the other woman? Be that woman.


Laura Giles


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Laura Giles


Marital, relationship, adultery, children out of wedlock, divorce, custody, visitation, support, co-parenting, mediation, counseling, group counseling, step-parenting, pre-marital, and reconciling issues


I teach parent education classes and a group for people who are trying to strengthen their relationships in addition to providing individual counseling. I am the author of "The Other Child: Children of Affairs."

National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals
National Guild of Hypnotists
National Association of Social Workers
Honorary chairman of the Business Advisory Council
Virginia Mediation Network

The Other Child: Children of Affairs, The Daily Herald (Chicago), New You, The Journal Gazette, Almeda Times-Star, Tacoma News Tribune, East West Woman. Tidewater Women, Dimensions

BS in Human Services Counseling- Old Dominion University
Master of Social Work- Norfolk State University Licensed clinical social worker

Awards and Honors
National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals

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