Adultery/family issues

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Question
my husband, a few yrs ago almost had an affair, they kissed that's it and he never looked back and we are doing great.  my question is now his brother for the last yr or so has been getting closer and closer to this woman., just the other day my brother in law tells us, too bad who cares I love her and you have to accept.  As a Christian I stand on my belief that this is wrong on so many levels, morally, it will cause me and my family and children to relive the past everytime we see her.  Am I wrong in my thinking? Shouldn't he have mentioned it in the beginning when they were first starting and she never made any efforts to apologize for coming on to my husband do you have any advice for me.  the last thing he told me was well if my family will ever let me when the time is right they`ll let me know, making it our problem or our fault.  really struggling with this one pls help

Answer
Hi Sue,

You are entitled to your beliefs, but you can't expect everyone else to have and honor them.

Your husband's involvement with this woman has nothing to do with his brother's interest in her. It doesn't obligate him to stay away from her. It's not particularly sensitive or kind of the brother-in-law, but it is his choice to make. I don't imagine it will end well. A woman who messes around with a married man and then has no problems showing her face to his family doesn't sound like the type who will make a good girlfriend, but the brother still has a right to make that choice.

My only advice for you is to mind your own business and stay away from her as much as possible. I am not saying this to be a smart a**. I am saying it because you might not be able to control the actions or beliefs of other people, but limit the negative impact of their actions by staying away from them.

Sincerely,

Laura Giles

Adultery

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Laura Giles

Expertise

Marital, relationship, adultery, children out of wedlock, divorce, custody, visitation, support, co-parenting, mediation, counseling, group counseling, step-parenting, pre-marital, and reconciling issues

Experience

I teach parent education classes and a group for people who are trying to strengthen their relationships in addition to providing individual counseling. I am the author of "The Other Child: Children of Affairs."

Organizations
National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals
National Guild of Hypnotists
National Association of Social Workers
Honorary chairman of the Business Advisory Council
Virginia Mediation Network

Publications
The Other Child: Children of Affairs, The Daily Herald (Chicago), New You, The Journal Gazette, Almeda Times-Star, Tacoma News Tribune, East West Woman. Tidewater Women, Dimensions

Education/Credentials
BS in Human Services Counseling- Old Dominion University
Master of Social Work- Norfolk State University Licensed clinical social worker

Awards and Honors
National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals

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