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Adultery/Cheating Husband

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Question
Hi Laura,

My husband is a pathological liar. He likes to download social app to chat with other women. It doesn't look like he will change because ever since we were married, it feels like that's a part of him that has been constant. Everytime he's caught, he gave me 1001 excuses/reasons that I drove him to do it. That he's lonely etc. This is our 5th year of being married and I've made improvements, but again I caught him using a social app to chat with other women.

I dont't know what I should do. My brain is saying leave that no good lying husband of mine because I lost count of how many times this has happened, but I am not sure if I'm strong enough. Help me

Answer
Hi Lisa,

If your husband is doing this out of loneliness, connect with him! He's not feeling close to you. If you fill that need, he won't want or need someone else. He's your husband. You love him, right? That would seem to be something that flows naturally when couples love each other, but for whatever reason, he's not receiving it. This is not uncommon. Sometimes we show love in a language that the receiver doesn't understand. Find out how to receives it.

If you want to leave, that is also your right. It seems that it would be more effective to try to heal the rift first though.If you do what he says he needs and he doesn't change, you know that is all an excuse.

Now, just to be clear. It is not your JOB to reach out to him. We are all responsible for our own happiness. It seems your husband doesn't have the tools to do this for himself though. And sometime we all need a little help. So it's now up to you to decide what you are willing and not willing to do. There is no judgment in walking away. You are justified. There is no shame is trying to work it out either. Listen to your heart.

Good luck,

Laura Giles

Adultery

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Laura Giles

Expertise

Marital, relationship, adultery, children out of wedlock, divorce, custody, visitation, support, co-parenting, mediation, counseling, group counseling, step-parenting, pre-marital, and reconciling issues

Experience

I teach parent education classes and a group for people who are trying to strengthen their relationships in addition to providing individual counseling. I am the author of "The Other Child: Children of Affairs."

Organizations
National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals
National Guild of Hypnotists
National Association of Social Workers
Honorary chairman of the Business Advisory Council
Virginia Mediation Network

Publications
The Other Child: Children of Affairs, The Daily Herald (Chicago), New You, The Journal Gazette, Almeda Times-Star, Tacoma News Tribune, East West Woman. Tidewater Women, Dimensions

Education/Credentials
BS in Human Services Counseling- Old Dominion University
Master of Social Work- Norfolk State University Licensed clinical social worker

Awards and Honors
National Registry of Who's Who in Executive Professionals

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