AboutPastor Kimberly Lemler Expertise As an Ordained Minister, Life Coach, and Pastoral Counselor, I can help you with questions related to adultery. I was a victim of adultery in my first marriage so I understand deeply the feelings that one has in this situation. How we choose to respond to the situation is vital in our recovery. Letting go of bitterness and unforgiveness is key, and I can teach you how to do that. I have been happily remarried for 16 years.
Outside of AllExperts I can be reached at:
Walk By Faith Counseling Center
www.GodsHealingPower.org
Experience I have personal experience with a husband who committed adultery and have counseled people in this area. I have a weekly radio broadcast and also do street ministry, phone ministry,in-office ministry, e-mail ministry and have ministered on a worldwide prayerline. I am a life coach as well.
Publications Teaching CD's available on our website, GodsHealingPower.org. Look for several of our books to be published and on the website.
Education/Credentials I am a former school teacher, a graduate of Indiana University, 1984. I have received biblical instruction at Victory Bible Institute and am currently working on a PhD.
Question I recently went on a vacation with my exhusband and 3 kids. We have been divorced for 3 years, and I was recently remarried earlier this year.
On the trip my ex told me he still loved me and always had. He wanted me back. Our marriage ended due to an emotional affair he had with someone else (and other reasons). I realized as we talked and spent time together, that I still had so many unresolved feelings and that I still loved him.
When I came back home from the vacation, I was honest with my husband. I said that although nothing physical happened I believed I had unresolved feelings and still loved my ex. My husband was extremely angry (I did understand those feelings), and told me and the kids to get out...What has happened from there has been a spiraling chain of events. Two weeks has now passed since the vacation. I am now living with my ex and our kids.
My husband and I have been in communication which goes back and forth between him wanting me back to angry him hating me.
I have been very confused. I believe in my heart that it is best for my kids to stay and try and work it out with their father. He has opened my eyes to all the things he has done to change, and how he would like to get counseling and make this work. (would not get counseling in the past)
But, I still love my husband and miss him very much. There are so many things that are difficult in our relationship, blended families, ex's, money problems...I want to do the right thing. And I am sick of hurting people.
Any advice is appreciated.
Answer Hi Christy,
You are in a difficult position here with no easy answers. Someone is going to get hurt, either way you go. Of course it is good to have the family unit back together again, but you committed yourself to another man...
You need to have some serious alone time with God, to seek His face and His wisdom. I certainly can't tell you which way to go here. God knows what is right for your future because He sees it before Him.
God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. I will give you some scriptures to encourage you...
Deuteronomy 4:29-31 (Jeremiah 29:11-14)
1 Chronicles 28:9
Psalms 9:10
Proverbs 8:17
Matthew 7:7 (Luke 11:9-10)
John 6:37
James 4:8
Psalms 107:9
Lamentations 3:25
Hebrews 11:6
Jeremiah 33:3
Get into the Word and spend some prayer time alone with God so that He can give you the answers you are seeking. And He will...just be open and receptive to what He will speak into your Spirit. You will have a "knowing" in your spirit when He gives you the answers...
