AboutPastor Kimberly Lemler Expertise As an Ordained Minister, Life Coach, and Pastoral Counselor, I can help you with questions related to adultery. I was a victim of adultery in my first marriage so I understand deeply the feelings that one has in this situation. How we choose to respond to the situation is vital in our recovery. Letting go of bitterness and unforgiveness is key, and I can teach you how to do that. I have been happily remarried for 16 years.
Outside of AllExperts I can be reached at:
Walk By Faith Counseling Center
www.GodsHealingPower.org
Experience I have personal experience with a husband who committed adultery and have counseled people in this area. I have a weekly radio broadcast and also do street ministry, phone ministry,in-office ministry, e-mail ministry and have ministered on a worldwide prayerline. I am a life coach as well.
Publications Teaching CD's available on our website, GodsHealingPower.org. Look for several of our books to be published and on the website.
Education/Credentials I am a former school teacher, a graduate of Indiana University, 1984. I have received biblical instruction at Victory Bible Institute and am currently working on a PhD.
Question i have committed this sin. i am a catholic. i am also well read in the bible. after my divorce, which i fully believe was the right choice, i still continue to seek the other woman companionship. she is currently married and seeking a divorce. i am wondering what i need to do with God to at least be forgiven of my wrongs. i do not expect to spend my eternity with Him. but i would like to try and make it right for the here and now. thank you
Answer Hi Todd,
First I would like to say that what the Catholics believe about salvation is polar opposite as to what Protestants believe. So please keep in mind that what I am ministering to you comes out of the King James Version of the Bible.
Why do you not expect to have eternity with God? Let me tell you what the Bible says about sin...
The following is an article from a friend of mine, Dr. Art Mathias.
"The love of God is completely and totally unconditional. He loves each of us regardless of what we have done or will ever do. It is the promise of Jesus that He will forgive all of our sins, but there are conditions that we must meet. The most important “power” of Christianity is the blood of Jesus. Scripture is very plain about the purpose and power of the blood of Jesus:
Leviticus 17:11
“For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul.”
Matthew 26:28
“For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.”
Ephesians 1:7
“In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.”
Hebrews 9:22
“And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood there is no remission.”
Under the Old Covenant or law, the blood of bulls and goats was a temporary covering for our sin and under the New Covenant the blood of Jesus is the permanent payment for our sin. It is only through His blood that we have forgiveness and power over sin. Of all the belief systems of the world, only Christianity offers a payment for sin.
Hebrews 9:13-14
“For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh: How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?”
God’s entire plan of redemption rests upon the power of the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. We overcome the devil and sin by the power of the blood. The blood of Jesus is available to pay for any sin, but Scripture commands us to play a roll in receiving forgiveness.
Many have taught that forgiveness is unconditional. In other words, when we were saved or baptized all our sins are automatically gone. But Scripture teaches that the blood of Jesus is available for the total and final payment for all our sins, past, present and future, If we meet these three conditions:
1. We must accept Jesus as the Christ and allow Him to be our Lord and Savior. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” The first step is to become His sons and daughters. This first condition is a salvation issue (justification). We must make the choice to accept Him and be born again. This is available to anyone and everyone who will choose in their free will to accept Jesus.
2. If we do not forgive others and ourselves, our Heavenly Father will not forgive us. Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” There are many other passages that teach the same message. The story of the rich man in Matthew 18; the many references that teach that in the manner or way that we judge others is the manner or way that we will be judged. Even the Lord’s prayer teaches us to ask our Heavenly Father to forgive us in the manner that we forgive. We set our own standard for forgiveness in how we forgive.
3. We must confess our sins, past, present and future. I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” What happens if we do not confess? James 5:16 says, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” When we do not confess our sin, the guilt, shame, regret, sadness, anger, hatred, bitterness etc. is still in the memory and we are in bondage and held captive by those memories and the pain. If all of our past, present, and future sins were automatically forgiven when we accept Jesus, why would these verses be written to believers and why would the bondage and pain still be there?
The last two conditions are not salvation issues, but sanctification issues. They are about our choice to obey and be holy as He is holy or Christ-like in this life (I Peter 1:16, Lev. 11:44). Do you want to be a vessel of honor fit for every good work (II Tim. 2:19-21)? Do you want to be an overcomer and receive the rewards that are promised in Revelation 2 and 3? Vessels of honor purge themselves of all sin. This is what this life is really all about.
Many have used “sin” or what they believe to be sin, to accuse and condemn. Scripture commands us to only forgive, repent and restore our brothers (Gal. 6:1). We are to love our neighbors as our selves (Mat. 22:37-41). This also means that we must love ourselves, to be able to love our neighbor. We are never to condemn others or ourselves. A Godly sorrow leads to repentance and salvation. The sorrow of the world leads to condemnation and death (II Cor. 7:10). Do not throw the baby out with the bath water. Just because man has abused God’s precepts does not mean that we are to discard them or replace them.
This is what Scripture has to say about confessed and unconfessed sins:
Confessed Sins:
1. They are blotted out (Isaiah 44:22; Acts 3:19).
2. They are forgiven (Exodus 34:7; I John 1:9; I John 2:12).
3. They are remitted (Matthew 26:28; Mark 1:4).
4. They are made white as snow (Isaiah 1:18).
5. They are made as wool (Isaiah 1:18).
6. They are cast behind God's back (Isaiah 38:17).
7. They are forgotten (Isaiah 43:25; Hebrews 8:12; Hebrews 10:17).
8. They are purged away (Psalm 79:9; Hebrews 1:3).
9. They are covered (Psalm 32:1; Romans 4:7).
10. They are put away (II Samuel 12:13; Hebrews 9:22).
11. They are removed as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).
12. They are cast into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:19).
13. They are washed away (Rev. 1:5).
14. They are taken away (I John 3:5).
15. They are put off (Col. 2:11).
16. One is saved from them (Matthew 1:21).
17. One is freed from them (Romans 6:7,16-23; Romans 8:2).
18. One is cleansed from them (I John 1:7,9).
19. One becomes dead to them (Col. 2:13; I Peter 2:24).
20. One is quickened from death in them (Ephes. 2:1-10; Col. 2:13).
Unconfessed Sins:
1. They cause death (Genesis 2:17; Ezekiel 33:8-13; Romans 8:12-13).
2. They hinder prayers (Psalm 66:18).
3. They provoke God to anger (I Kings 16:2).
4. They weary God (Isaiah 43:24).
5. They separate from God (Isaiah 59:2).
6. They testify against us (Isaiah 59:12; Jeremiah 14:7).
7. They cause God to remember them (Psalm 25:7).
8. They expose guilt (Psalm 69:5).
9. They cause God to visit (Hosea 8:13; Hosea 9:9).
10. They us load down (II Tim. 3:6, Hebrews 12:1).
11. They cause us to pine away (Ezekiel 33:10; Leviticus 26:39).
12. They cause us to be consumed (Isaiah 64:7; Ezekiel 4:17).
13. They take men away (Isaiah 64:6).
14. They bring punishment (Amos 3:2).
15. They damn the soul (II Thes. 2:12; Matthew 16:16).
16. They cause one to be of Satan (1 John 3:8).
17. They cause hardening of heart (Hebrews 3:13).
18. They make servants of sin (Romans 6:7-23; John 8:34).
19. They bring reproach (Proverbs 14:34).
20. They cause national judgment (Amos 1:3,6,9,11,13; Amos 2:1,4,6).
21. They cause disease (Deut. 28; Ps.103:3; Mark 2:9; James 5:16).
22. They cause many troubles and calamities in life (Job; Deut. 28; Proverbs 1:27-31).
God’s Word is very plain in how we are to handle sin. We are to confess and we are to repent. The blood of the Lamb is the only provision for sin."
