Expert: Peter Gabany - 1/2/2007

Question
Thank You so much!

I took your advice and made some changes.

How does it look now?
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The text above is a follow-up to ...

-----Question-----
I need you to critique my website for my babysitting business. I want to make it better by changing some things, editing, revising some stuff, .etc...

http://www.geocities.com/wildflowerneu/wildflower_babysitting.html

Any help is much appreciated! :D
-----Answer-----
For a 13 year old I must say that I'm impressed and look forward to showing it off to my 13 year old.

From a design point of view the form could be simplified, albeit it would take some more complex Java scripting to do same. Also, I would have the tendency of putting a picture of myself on the site. Now being a      - Mariah - you might not wish to do this for some sort of protection and for this I would understand.

And on that point, please be careful, there are many weirdos out there.

I really like your intro letter - well done.

Overall I would simply like to see some good photos of some kids - these can be had for a VERY low cost through many photo stock agencies.

I did notice a typo -  3rd paragraph - I know that some parents may think that I am TO young...

If you make some of these changes, invite me back again to look it over.

Good luck and thanks for your question.

Pete

Answer
Mariah,

The hire me and contact and even the availability areas are problem areas. When you navigate to a page people hate to have to navigate again to yet another page and for hire me and contact neither of these steps are required. As for the availability link where you must go off site I know through experience that this page will mount your largest fall off in web traffic.

Baby sitting is a trust issue. A personal experience built over time between you and the employer. You need to connect with the person. To have them click this and that all in the guise of efficiency and cleverness will not break through with those that you are trying to build trust with.

You are obviiously bright and responsive. It is my humble opinion as a web developer and parent that you will want to quickly build trust equity. The best way that I can see you doing this is by stating your experience and making it personal - less robotic.

The robotics of the site is clever but should be seamless and invisible - people should not realize that they are being wooed by a machine. The best way to do this is look into your experience and personalize your site with things that occurred to you or with you in charge that will make moms and dads start to build a warm place in their hearts for you.

Let them know of the time, under your control where someone trusted you to take their 5 kids to a movie and one got away and how you dealt with the disaster, rescued the rebel and returned all safe and sound. Or the massive food fight that turned into an episode of Peter Pan, but when the parents returned all was cleaned up,  everyone was asleep in their beds and you were studying for a mid-term on their couch.

Cat rescued from microwave, the visit from the police, how the robbers tried to break in. Take a page from Home Alone or use fairy tales to colour your experiences.

As a parent I want to know you. I want to have all of the confidence before leaving my kids with you. Make me feel comfortable and leave the navigation to plain simple.

I hope that you will add some great stories and pictures that will give many prospective customers all sorts of warm and fuzzies and you an over-subscribed schedule.

Pete