Expert: Linda Erwin, M.S. - 2/11/2006

Question
I am a 35 year old women who has been suffering with this my whole life well as long as I could remember someone else making me feel uncomfortable about it.  I am sorry but I don't care what anyone says men like women with thin arms not buldging with muscle.  At least most men. (All men I have been in contact with my enitre life!)   It is the one thing I can't stand about my body. I feel this girls pain.  I have been thin my whole life, and my arms have always been manly.  My shape is that of the android type that is bigger on top smaller on bottom.  Also referred to as apple shape.  I have a small chest and it just makes it worse.  In clothes that cover my arms and with a padded bra my body can rock.  But when the clothes come off.  I am a big disapointment.   Muscluar arms, and small breasts.  Now I am 35 and so tired of this problem, really it is draining especially when the spring and summer time come.  I was looking into natural lipsuction that means diet modification.  To try and put some fat on my barely there hips and get more of a butt.  Being and android type I am drawn to certain foods it's these same foods that continue to maintain this body shape.  I have narrow hips, I just hate my body.  I used to go to the gym to try am tone my abs, and keep fit, but I am so afraid of adding anymore muscle to my arms.  No girls look like me, at the gym the are all so feminine I feel like a man shape.  I loved the treadmill but your arms swing and I felt they were getting tone.  Please is there any advice you could give besides the fact that women would die for arms like that.  I hear it all the time.  I doesn't help the fact that men don't seem to like it, and I hate it.

Answer
Laura,
It sounds like you really don't like your body.  God gives us what she gives us so we have to nurture ourselves and love who we are no matter what.  I know you are self conscious of your arms and breasts.  Although you can't change your arms you can consult a plastic surgeon and change your breast size.  Many women do that but I wouldn't recommend that until you can accept who you are and what you have.
We get caught up in our looks to the point that it makes us depressed and withdrawn from others.  Men might like thin arms but I really don't know too many women with thin arms.  If they work out, they are muscular, if they don't work out they are flabby.  The only thin toned arms I see are on teenagers.  It could be that men pick up on your unhappiness with your body.  
Have you ever sought psychotherapy for self esteem and body image?  I would suggest that first and then decide what you want to do.
Goodluck,
Linda