Expert: Ronda Snow, Ph.D. - 1/16/2008

Question
Hi Baihu,

My roommate goes crazy over certain smells. He smokes cigarettes like a chimney, but says a little smoke from the toaster or even the aroma of food being cooked is really just unbearable for him. He starts yelling and screaming - its very weird. After all, he does sleep on the living room couch! He also has barbequed hamburgers without an attack like this. I am vegetarian and like to use aromatherapy and incense upstairs in my room which is disagreeable for him. Does this come with age? I am only a few years younger than him, he is 56 years old.

I am wondering if you can shed some light on anything other than suggest I move, which I am planning. I have a feeling it is psychological. What do you think? He has a very jumpy disposition and gets mad easily and seems worrisome and wakes up angry a lot. Could vitamin and mineral deficiencies cause this or other health issues?

Thanks so much! I am trying to cope for the remainder of my stay. Any advice or info you can give is greatly appreciated.

Best
Dianna

Answer
Hi Dianna

While I appreciate your dilemma, and think it is wonderful that you are so concerned for your roommate...I can't ethically comment on him.  I can only help people who write to me directly...otherwise I can't know that they agree to participate in this process. It would be inappropriate for me to comment about your roommate behind his back and without his consent.

My intuition about this is that, at the very HEART of things, this is a relationship issue between the two of you...I don't mean to imply a romantic relationship...family, roomate, any relationship can have issues. That is where the help is most needed is my guess...on the emotional (heart) level of relationship things rather than on the physical level of things.

Hope everything works out for both of you.

www.rondasnow.com