Expert: Rebecca Buchanan - 9/22/2008

Question
Hi, I had a child 4 years ago and it was an emotional nightmare (a traumatic birth involving all types of drugs and difficulties)My child ended up in ICU on antibiotics for breathing difficulties and I went home with undigested food in my stool. It just got worse and worse. He never seemed satisfied on the breast, didn't sleep well, etc. He got 1 immunization and got a patch of eczema no his chest which would later end up covering most of his body. He seemed allergic/sensitive to everything. So it is 4 years later he is doing better but still has some allergic/sensitivity to chemicals/foods issues but we are able to survive now without living on edge all the time.

I was at a point I could barely walk since my bones and muscles ached so much. I didn't sleep well for about 3 years since my husband worked almost 7 days a week and I had to take care of Aiden. I am feeling much better in many ways but I have constipation (a little better now that I have added chia seeds to my diet) but it is still a problem. I see a cranial sacral therapist and I know my thoughts have ALOT to do with many of my issues. But knowing that doesn't make it easy to let go of these things:-) I have alot of issues with my husband and I just don't feel connected to him. I love him and believe he loves me but we both have so much baggage. We have alot of wounds from this experience. I think we are just exhausted from it all and just want to rest. I get upset that he is not connected to us when he is at home. I guess I resent that I put on the happy face regardless for my son's sake and he walks around and kind of takes it out on us when he is tired and irritable which seems to be most of the time. I think mostly I just don't feel connected to him, don't feel the love from him and I don't know how to get us working on US. Also I haven't worked out of the home since my son's birth. I am a massage therapist and want to return to do something in that field but have been dragging it out. I think early on I was afraid because I wasn't physically ready and didn't want to hurt myself but I think it is really more about putting myself out there again because I am not sure I really learned the lesson that I am good enough just as I am, with what I have to offer and I hope I have learned that but when I start working on someone I get tense, not comfortable with where I am at, my skill level right now, etc.

Okay, I know I am doing alot of things for the good. I have reconnected with God, doing yoga and breathing has been great and I guess I see my marriage and my career as areas that need some focus. Any guidance will be much appreciated.
Wanda

Answer
Hi Wanda,

It sounds like you have a clear vision of your situation and issues.  I am so sorry for what you have gone through, but you're here now and although the ride is rough, you're still moving. Keep going.  Look into some grief work.  Let yourself detox emotionally.  Tears are powerful "movers"  and can clear some of the fog surrounding you.  Sounds like you have a lot of pent up "stuff"  that will start flowing with some emotional release.  

Have you tried RC and co-counseling lately?  Look up a group in your area and see what's available.  Give it a try, for the first time, or again.  They have a great support system, that is only interested in your release, and of course, your highest and best good.

Best wishes to you and your family.

R.Buchanan