Expert: Derby Stewart-Amsden - 1/2/2009

Question
What are the alternatives to combat stress in women?

Answer
Hi Natalie,

Your question is so huge that no one can probably answer it in any detail without writing a book, but I'll give you somewhere to start.

To begin with there is no real difference between the sexes in the realms of stress except that female hormones can intensify the effects of stress and men (older ones at least) are likely to deny their feelings and symptoms.

Here are some key areas where you can start getting a handle on stress:-

1. Manage your time better. We have all been pretty well brainwashed in our culture to the "hurry, hurry, hurry nonsense".  Fact is that very little is THAT important.

2. Learn to say no, honestly you won't get any awards for being everyone's doormat. Say no to the things you don't want to do as often as possible - this allows you to say yes to more of the things you Do want to do and that make you feel good - ie not so stressed.

3. Breathe.  Seriously the most fundamental element of all meditation and eastern exercise is right breathing.  This means breathing gently in through your nose slowly deep into your lungs & diaphram and gently back out through your nose. Unless you have some illness or poor health this is the way you naturally breathe - so next time you wake up, take a minute and see what your body is doing naturally. You shouldn't hear the breathe inhaling or exhaling, but you should feel relaxed!

4. Laugh. Read silly jokes, watch funny movies go out with your friends and giggle.  Have fun, but most of all laugh - it releases endorphins from the brain that make you relax and chill out, and its just plain good for you.

5. Eat right. Eat slowly and chew all your food thoroughly. This is one of the simplest ways to avoid indigestion, pain and more stress. Obviously eat a good balanced diet with lots of fruit and veg and little fats and junk food.  But be kind to yourself as well, have "treats" just don't pig out - the main problem is that most people eat too much, stretch their stomachs, try crash diets, stress and generally abuse themselves.

6. Take some exercise that you LIKE. I truly think that any exercise regime that is a chore is worse than useless.  Do what you love doing, just make sure that for at least a couple of hours a week you get seriously active - that means getting hot and sweaty - great sex, dancing, kick boxing whatever you want. Of course gentle movement is fine too like yoga, tai chi, chi kung, etc... but most of these things take more discipline to really enjoy. Do NOT include running around on errands or after the kids or boss or whatever - this is stress and strain - it makes you tired, but not healthy.

IF YOU ARE DOING ALL THE ABOVE:-

Sometimes we need a little more help, because life seems to demand more energy than we have. There are a million options of what to do, the things that work for me and my clients best are:-

Counseling - sometimes we have to stop and look at ourselves, the patterns of behavior and thought that hurt us on a daily basis - usually because of some past event or trauma or just because we never really looked at what we were doing carefully.

Life Coaching - this is for when you know where you are and you know what you want but cannot see how to get there.

Meditation - helps you take control of your mind by helping you learn to still your thoughts and take a break from all the chaos therein

Reiki - helps you mentally, emotional and physically to heal

Reflexology - helps the healer within you to get on the job, giving you a better inner balance and helping many different conditions including stress

Herbs - there are loads of great herbs that help you relax and calm down. Herbal teas are available everywhere, for more specific care go to an herbalist for advice

Flower essences/remedies - these are extremely gentle and help you by acting as a catalyst to change. They are safe enough for use on children and pets

I could go on and on, but this should give you a place to start. Please feel free to ask me a more specific question.

All the best,
Derby