Expert: Stephen Cooper - 6/15/2010

Question
i dont wana go into it because i know that exploring it will give me a taste, and its one of the rare moments where its not present.

but it is in facing reality where i overcome it

so it hit hard me during a couple of hallucinogenic trips. to the point where i pretty much 'was' the feeling.

it often hangs out to a greater or lesser extent in my chest. for example i notice it now as a slight tingling

feels like a knot of energy that is somehow 'wrong' and does not FLOW with the universe, instead serves as a filter between me and the universe. i got the realization a few days ago that the resolution of it may lay in following it like a compass to wherever it leads me. in any case, running away from, or hiding from it, is something i no longer want to do. i want to face reality head on.

the buddhist way of bringing attention to it and accepting it does not seem so serve me and is not intuitively correct. the chakra clearing meditations, etc, all seem too surface. i feel like something powerful needs to happen if it is to be jutted.

possible avenues?

some of the info on energyenchancement.org struck a chord. also chackra blockage rings a bell. unreleased emotions from the past maybe.

i dont feel like its part of me but is something i carry

i feel like its an anchor pulling me down toward 'succumbing' and in a way draining me of life... sometimes it is so present it's like a wall between me and the world. sometimes it is a vague reminder, and sometimes it is moderately present, giving me adequate space to function while still being in the way and not giving me the room i need.

when it is highly present, it is completely the filter through which i view everything. it seems like there is no point of doing anything, and no joy for me in the world. seeing others engaged with each other only provides nostalgic sense of longing for the ability to have that connection. it's like i've been taken over.

would love to hear tips on where to go with this! i am tired of laying down and believe a no compromise solution can be reached where i am fully alive again at all times.

if there is a way out i am determined to find it. i am tired of being disconnected from life even for a second!

-mike

Answer
I am a teacher of the Alexander Technique. I do not know if your question has come to me directly as an Alexander teacher, or indirectly because we might be generally involved in the sort area you are interested in.

Reading your question, I think you might find it helpful to take a few Alexander lessons. You will find yourself addressing mundane issues like the way you hold yourself and the way that you move, and learning to intercept old habit so that you start to learn to use yourself differently. You will gain the skill of being able to catch one's immediate reactions to external and internal stimuli and learning to plan and manage a more appropriate response will be gained. This skill can be applied to the way you move to stand up, the way you maintain a standing position, the way you walk, the way you drive your car, the way that you work at your computer, and so on. Gradually, as you find that your way of using yourself is changing, you might find that your responses to more esoteric and metaphysical stimuli are also changing.

On the other hand you might find that the issues being addressed and the language used to address them are too far removed from your preoccupations to be of any help to you. I would give it a try, stay with it if it seems to be helping, look for something else if it does not seem to address your problems.

Feel free to contact me again if you have any further questions. You are welcome to let me know if you have some lessons and find them useful, or equally if you because of your lessons you have further questions that you want to ask.