Expert: Kindred Beisinger penname K D Elizabeth Beisinger - 3/23/2011

Question
HELLO...my man, age 64, retired CFO, and I for three years, are totally compatible in our religion, sex, interests, jobs.....but
he has this bipolar problem and here is how others have described what bipolar means (examples below)...and WHAT can be done about this to cure it?
Thank You.
my man acts like what is described below here

ANOTHER ONE

Hi
Ive been seeing my girlfriend for 8 months now,she is bipolar but she has all the signs,her moodswings, her heightened elation and absolute feelings of hopelessness,i never know whats coming next.
We were supposed to get married in October this year it was a whirlwind,one minute we were lovers then she decided she wanted to get engaged and then the next week she wanted to get married and then changed her mind again and again

,i love her dearly,she sings,paints sculpts but cant hold a normal job,i support her and her son of 8 with my salary and she says she doesnt need me and didnt ask me for anything

.Anyway as i type this we have split up AGAIN!!

A month after we started making wedding arrangements she changed her mind, andthis is after she made it known to the world we were getting married.It was pretty embarrasing for me to tell everyone to say the least.

One minute she tells me she is completely in love and wants to spend the rest of her life with me and is sorry she changed her mind,
and the next hour or 3 later she wants me to pack my stuff and leave and
when i do
she will block me out of her life .erase all photos of us and delete all of me from her life.

Then a week or 2 later she will call and say she is sorry and cry her eyes out and i go back to her because i love her
Im pretty buggered now after 8 months of this turmoil and almost ready to give up.....HELP

ANOTHER ONE
ABOUT BIPOLAR PEOPLE'S EXPERIENCES:

I have been engaged to BiPolar Man for 9 years. He is BP1 on Depakote for 21 years and recently put on Saphris. You will find they are  delusional and overblow their problems. They live in the past and escape their to find security . They lie, oh boy do they lie without limits, do crazy things, are financially unpredictible.
Their brain processes reality on a different plane than ours does. . When they are manic they will disappear and you may never know what they are doing. They will suddenly separate from you because you bother them in some way, so many wind up living separated on and off forever. You will always be the source of all the problems because think they are perfect.
They have an lie by taking bits and pieces of truth and twisting them into something that will confuse and overwhelm you.

ANTOHER ONE
For instance, he still has up & downs, grumpy moods where everything rattles him or stresses him out & emotionally flip flops.He gets close to me, acts affectionate & then runs away & rejects me continuously.
Just last weekend-He said he is with me, acknowledged it all, not going anywhere, loves me, wants me, really likes me, but he doesn't really seem to feel or show it like a normal person does and stay consistent in love. He can be many ways at the same time like very funny, charming & cool, like he is ok, but then distant, uncaring, mean, threatening, cruel, insensative, cocky, arrogant-he plays games with me whether he means it or not-not everything can be from Bipolar. That is like a trip wire & it's hard to see the line when you are not bipolar.

Answer
Dear Angel,
Even though the diagnosis is the same and much of the behavior is the same, I have some questions about the "labeling" that is so rampant in our culture.  First, you mentioned religion in common, and I truly believe all problems can be helped or alleviated spiritually, but there is usually also some "work" involved for the person.  In Scripture when Messiah healed, he still had some instructions for the person.  Next, I am not belittling the struggle, but in each of these cases, the behavior ends up excused.  That's why I have an issue with so much labeling.  It's like if someone is bipolar or has PMS or whatever, it's just okay for them to act out.  Well, it really isn't.  A label is for the person to get hold of their own emotions and exercise some responsibility, not make the rest of the world work around it.  The third observation I've made is diet is definitely involved in any sort of emotional disorder.  Watch your boyfriend and see what changes before the highs and what changes before the lows and see which happens first after the "level time."  Maybe when the extreme episodes begin it's best to let the person be alone and see what they do with their emotions, but I truly believe the problem can be alleviated spiritually and with diet.  I can't offer specific dietary changes as people do vary, but if you notice any specifics, I may be able to address the nutritional or vitamin issue in a particular situation.  Certain items can be eliminated or introduced.  None of us eat as healthy as we should.  There are also herbs that help a person remain more emotionally balanced, but they have to be willing to work in establishing and maintaining a regimen.
If I can be of further help, please write back.  Especially if there are some variables you notice regarding stress or diet before a manic episode or down time.
I'm including my webpage that addresses mental health from a spiritual perspective.
Kind Regards,
KD Liz
www.eingedi.us/MindofMessiah.html