Expert: Imran R. - 10/9/2006

Question
HI there, Thanks for taking time to read my message. i need yoru help with the guy that i know. I thought if i can tell you the story and ask for your help becasue i feel there is a serious issue here and i need to solve it. I met him through match.com exactly three years ago, and things were fine at the begining nad he woudl call every night and we talekd and then, on thephone but after that, i noticed after about three weeks , he came to sex and when he talekd, he would get excited and it was mostly phone sex. then, we met, and even though i noticed he had feelings. Any ways, we talked a lot on the phone and we had a lot is common, we would talk about a lot of other things as well, but when i started bashing him with why he is inot sex, he got offeneded
myrose: i noticed that he has three really bad relationship before and he got hurt a lot and noticed tha the would use sex to get ride of his stress, and even i told him that he had disrespected me, and he has put me down badly, etc, and i told him i feel he dos that becuaseof the hurt before and that he uses sex as an excuse and he told him that he had some him he need help and he agreed, he is very nice, not jerk or any thing, but after few months, he stopped talking to me and ignored my phone calls and dated other girls, but when things did not work he would come back tome nad talk to me and these thays, whenever i call, he does not answerme, and igonred all my calls and messaged. i called him once a week, every ohter day or every other week, but sill he would not answer the phone and just answer it once every six or eight weeks and just alks abotu sex and hangs up. imost of his phone calls is sex, and if i say no ro does not want to talk, he hanges up o me nad get upset. it is like he gest offeneded. i do not know what to do. Even once he called, and i did not laugh at him when he got sexually excited on the phone, but he said that he heard me laughing at him and he got so offended and so upset. I told him that i was not, but still he was upset. Now, he totally ignores my phone calls and answer them every six weeks or more, and i tried to call him once a week, every other day, and three times a week and some times, I leave him messages, but still he does not care to pick up the phone or return my calls. I was so much believing healings that i paid over $7000 for healing the relationship and nothing worked at all except that he has spent less than $20 for me over three years and came to see me only seven times even though he is only an hour away from me. He took me to his house once. He lives with his parents, but that time, his parents were in vacation, but still, he acts this way. I know he has been hurt extremely bad three times before that the hurt is still there. Also, he is himself a counseler psychologist in relationship and behavior. Any ways, I really appreciate your help because i am totally broke money wise and hurt in heart and emotion.
Thanks again, and sorry for the long email.  

Answer
Dear Sara,

To be honest, as you know, this is not my field of advice. I am mainly a health advisor. I do work on the new age forum as well, however my mission there is to educate people on what is coming in the future of the times we currently live. See below site for explanation.

Website:  www.vmrabolu.com

As for your current situation, i can put my self in your place and tell you, that when a relationship is not meant to be... it will never be. No matter what. Nothing will work.

If i was you i would let go of this relationship permananently, and leave it in God's hands.

Everyone has been hurt emotionally, one way or another, and if this affects one's relationships, then that person in particular needs to get some help to resolve his own inner aversion, attachments and hurt.

You need to look after you own heart, therefore do not spend any more money and do not spend any more energy from your heart hoping that things will get better.

Let this go, completely. When the time is right, you will find who you need to be with.

You need to pray daily and with faith, and if you are really ready to have a good and happy relationship with someone, then it will happen. However, as i said, you need to pray so that the will of the divine is what comes forth, and not your own. If your own will is what you follow, then you may very well end up in a similar situation in the future.

By having faith in God/the Divine, and asking for help, asking for the perfect partner, it will happen when the time is right. But only when the time is right. We make mistakes but the divine does not. Therefore rely on God 100%.

Best wishes,

Imran