Expert: Paula Damgaard - 1/29/2008

Question
My husband was diagnosed 3 1/2 years at 55 years old. He is just heading into stage 6. I provide all his care. I have looked around  at Alzheimer's daycare just to have a much needed break. We have 5 grown children 3 who live here but who also work. I found a place I would like to take him a few hours a couple times a week. I told him today he was going to a place tomorrow where there will be others he can talk to and can socialize. He doesn't want to go even though he does remember the Dr. saying he needs to go. Is there any easy way to do this without a meltdown?

Answer
Dear Sandra, the answer is no.  But you say you have children, do you remember taking them to kindergarten?  They didn't want to go either, but you took them.  They needed to go to school and you needed to let them go.  You had an awful angst first day of school and they forgot that you left them.  It is much the same now with your husband.  He needs to go and you need a break.

Don't dwell on it. Don't talk to him about it.  Just take him. When I took my mother, I told her she needed to have a "job" that I was going to set her up with a volunteer position.  She went five days a week.  It doesn't matter what you tell him the reason he has to go, but it is SO important that he GOES!  

Good luck.  Just remember he will survive the day care!  Paula