Expert: Alanna Shaikh - 10/2/2008

Question
my husband's mother has been diagnosed with dementia.  we cannot get her to go back to the doctor for followup or medication she is now also drinking heavily falling will not take a bath brush teeth etc. she is independently living now and we go over every day but she is very stubborn and will not be moved out of her house to assisted living or anywhere.  can you advise us as to who we should consult to see what our options are?  we would literally have to pick her up and drag her out to any nursing home or assisted living facility.

Answer
Dear Judy,

I'd suggest you contact a social worker to do an evaluation of your mother-in-law's house. The social worker may be able to advise options, and also talk to your mother about what can be done.

You should be able to get a referral for a social worker from the eldercare locator - http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare/Public/Home.asp You can also look in your phone book for elder resources.

This is a difficult situation, and I wish you the very best as you cope with it.

Regards,
Alanna