Expert: Paula Damgaard - 11/18/2008

Question
1)My Aunt has been threatening the family with regards to her brother's will of 4 years ago.  She suspects foul play and there is none.  It's amazing how her imagination has gone wild.  She could write a mystery book. Even though she has not been diagnosed, I suspect something going terribly wrong with her mind. Could this be a symptom of Alzheimer? What do you suggest we do to help her?
2) My step Dad has been diagnosed with Alzheimer.  He is often very angry at people from his past who he says took advantage of him and believes people are constantly trying to do even today.  He does have money in the bank and hardly spends any of it.  What would be the best way for us to act with him? Thank you

Answer
Hi Dee, paranoia is one of the signs of early AD so I would suggest that you get her help.  Is there anyone that is close to her that could go with her to the doctor?  I imagine she probably at this point has few friends if this is how she is behaving.  

But if you can get word to the doctor that you think something is wrong hopefully he will be able to pick up on it.  If not you may need to take her to someone who specializes in memory or behavioral medicine, such as a neurologist or a geriatric psychiatrist.  

If you need a recommendation I would suggest you call the local Alzheimer's Association and ask them who they would recommend.  They won't be specific but they should be able to give you names of people that they know work with these kinds of patients.  

As for your stepdad, it sounds like he is having some hallucinations; these are not uncommon either unfortunately.  When he starts to talk about those that did him wrong, don't argue with him and try to make him "see" that what he is saying is wrong cause it won't work and will only make him angry.  Try to say something like, "yeah I know I heard that "Harry" got in some kind of trouble for doing stuff like that."  Then follow it up with, but I heard that after he did his punishment he has been such a good citizen, he now volunteers with "whoever".  Just make it sound "real"  something that would make sense to your stepdad.  Sometimes we have to lie to get them to come out of that line of thinking so we can get them to move on to another topic.  

Basically you are playing a game now; and you have to win.  He has to play, but you have to win, so whatever you have to do to win is fair!!  
Hope this helps.  Paula