Expert: Michalene Peticca - 11/12/2008

Question
Hi, My mother is 59 and I just visited with her and I am
seeing evidence of memory loss between her and my father.  
They live on a hobby farm and have no dementia since
they're sharp enough to run it.  But I have noticed that
they didn't believe most of the things I talked about with
them, and when I was right they corrected me with the wrong
information.  They have done this before, but now they do
it so much it is emotionally hard to talk to them.  It
shows my mother is forgetting more and more facts, and my
father now doubts all kinds of conversations because he is
so used to having to doubt what she says.  Of course he
might have memory problems now too.  Does this sound like
just natural aging, or could this be some signs of coming
dementia?

Answer
Hello Jason,

Thank you for writing.  I am glad you are concerned about your parents.  At 59, we certainly do see some signs of "normal" aging and sometimes the beginning signs of Dementia.  However, it sounds like it is too early to tell which is which.

Many adults at this age tend to get "set" in their ways, opinions and general outlook on life.  You may be bringing information that is new to them and they may be resistant to any new ideas.  That is normal aging.

Also, since they are in, now, an "untraditional" type of work environment, they may not be interacting as much with their peers...which would also block any new, or advanced information.

If your parents start to have difficulty with thier finances and "running" the farm, then i'd say you'd have cause for concern.  If however, they have been able to manage their lives and farm, then i'd just wait and see where it all leads.

Unfortunately, you may have to wait a few years and see what happens.  Offer your help where you can and just learn to be quiet when they argue your points....it doesn't help and just brings wide gaps in your relationship with them.  

But, i do respect your views and just keep an eye on things.

Best Regards,

Michalene Peticca, MA