Expert: Alanna Shaikh - 11/9/2008

Question
At recent Dr visit by my mother-in-law,  Dr called family member to say she needed "better care" by her family.  She is recently widowed and was care giver to husband for 6 years of pancreatic cancer.
She is very strong willed and my husband thinks that waiting until after a planned trip to Austria this Christmas with friends is ok to have her tested for deminseia or even discussing with her

Answer
Dear Jan,

You're in a terribly difficult situation. My thoughts are with you.

I think that your husband should follow up with the doctor to find out what was meant by better care from the family. That seems like a very broad and vague statement. He could also ask the doctor about whether your mother-in-law can wait until after Christmas for dementia evaluation. My guess would be that she cannot wait. If she does have dementia, she should start appropriate medication as soon as possible to slow its onset.

Please feel free to write to me again. I know this answer was probably not as detailed as you would have liked.

Best,
Alanna