Expert: Paula Damgaard - 11/13/2008

Question
Hi Paula,

The situation with my Mother in law has changed. Now she's always with her eyes closed even when eating and her head is always down. This situation has almost two weeks and even though she's eating (not much drinking) she never open her eyes. I already spoke to her doctor and reduced the medication since today..

I've been searching in the web reasons why she doesn't open her eyes because it's shocking to see her like that, do you know the reasons for this and if there's anything we can do...

By the way, some weeks ago I decided not to put her in a Facility because I felt so guilty and sad, so I'm making some arrangements for receiving the baby (I wrote you some month ago about my baby coming in march)and I feel a lot better.
Thanks a lot!! You're an angel.

Answer
Karina,  I can't give you a medical reason for why this happens.  Except to say that with this disease they are going backward in their development and as infants we spend alot of time with our eyes closed.  As she is entering the later stages of this disease you can expect her to have more of these behaviors.  

If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that your mother in law is waiting for your baby to arrive so she can be here, then she will probably give up totally and die.  This I have seen many times.  They live long enough for an important event and then they can go peacefully.  

My grandmother did the same thing.  She didn't have AD, but she had cancer.  She was alert and oriented, but her big concern was that she wanted to see the baby, her first great grandchild.  I took the train to NY unbeknowst to her and showed up at the hospital.  It is a memory I cherish.  She died two days later.  The doctors were not prepared for that.  They were going to discharge her to home that very day.  

I have come to believe in that power that people have to some extent to control their destiny when there is something they want!  I hope this helps.  Take care and good luck with the baby!  Paula