Expert: Alanna Shaikh - 4/7/2008

Question
I have been caring for my mother the past 2 and a half years. I have seen a major change in her condition within the last year. She was diagnosed in the late 90´s after the passing of my father around 1999. She has been under treatment since then. Reminyl 4mg,8mg, 12mg now 16mg long duration and Auxura 10mg at night and in the morning. This past year we have seen a great decline and she has been assisting a Day Center Since June of 2007. She does not recognize me at times and I am her daughter. Me and my family my husband and my son of 3. I am really starting to worry about her, and had a visit from my brothers to help during Easter and she had a horrible experience and did not know who he was and started to get very nervous. I was away trying to get a break with my family and had to have my brother give her some Haldol drops to calm her down. She was just 71 in March of this year so she really got Alzheimer´s very young. In her early 60´s. She lived alone in her home country Spain after my father passed in 1996, then we suspected something was wrong on one of her frequent visits to our home in the US. I really feel that I need some answers and feel little lost as to what are the stages and levels of this disease. They did do a couple of MRI´s. I just want to know if there is anything else I can do for her. I suffer when she is not happy, she has always had such a good life and now, she is getting sad allot. She has hidden this disease for such a long time and has been so hardheaded about it. She never has once said that she has anything that is wrong with her. Physically she is in good health but she can not walk very well, and has a hard time seeing and sometimes does not know that I am in the room with her. I just need some support and information. Please send me an answer. I really do thank you for all of the support and knowledge you can share. Thank you.

Answer
Dear Liz,

I am so sorry that you, your family, and your mother have to face this terrible thing. My father was also afflicted with Alzheimer's in his early 60s, and I know how awful it is.

Mary Gordon, who writes for AllExperts too, has an excellent description of the stages of Alzheimers here: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Alzheimer-s-Disease-1005/Alzheimer-Evaluation-Scale.h...

I don't think there is anything else you can do to make your mother happy. She is in the grip of a brutal and dehumanizing disease, and there comes a point where there is nothing more that anyone can do. Let your mother know you love her, treat her with as much kindness as you possess, and take care of her physical needs. She is unhappy because of this cruel illness, and you cannot heal her no matter how much you want to.

Please feel free to write again if there is something more specific you'd like to talk about.

Best,
Alanna