Expert: Mary Gordon - 7/29/2008

Question
My mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease and has had her driver's license revoked for a couple of years now.  My father passed away 10 years ago, leaving my mother in good shape, financially.  She has since been "taken over" by an abusive, financially insecure 73-year-old man who has moved in and seized control of her life and banking.  He managed to get her to buy a brand new, expensive SUV, despite her not being able to drive, he lives off of her money and has nothing at all to his name.  He's very nasty to her and I have had reports from her neighbors about his hitting her.  I think that my mother should be in care now because she is unable to think for herself, and her GP has stated this as well.  I don't know where to start to get her into care.  She lives in a small town in Ontario, and I live in Quebec.  This is such a heart-breaking situation for me; my 3 siblings will have nothing to do with her, except to criticize me for (1) being too involved and (2) not doing enough.  I have Power of Attorney, but her lawyer will not give me a copy of this document.

I need help, but cannot afford a lawyer.  Thanks for any advice you could provide.

Answer
Hi Debra,

Do you know what kind of power of attorney your mother signed? This is key, because there are three kinds in Ontario. Basically, one is for financial matters and short term use only (such as when a person goes out of the country for a while and wants someone to take care of their bills while they are gone). Another type is for financial decisions when a person is incapacitated, and its for long term use("enduring"). The third is for personal care decisions (i.e. medical, nursing home etc.).

Here is some good information.
http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/pgt/propguard.asp
http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/pgt/livingwillqa.pdf
http://www.cleo.on.ca/english/pub/onpub/PDF/health/continuing.pdf

This last link has contact information for legal aid. I would call them and ask for some basic advice about the situation where your mom's lawyer won't give you a copy of the power of attorney.

You CAN get new ones signed - there is a kit for them. The second link has a document with a link within it on how to get a kit - you cannot be a witness if the documents name you as the holder.

You could be in the soup because the man may qualify to be legally considered a common law spouse. I take it the vehicle is in his name (i.e. it would be considered a gift). I doubt she could legally obtain insurance etc. if she is not competent to have a license.

Contact this group and see what advice they can give
http://www.onpea.org/en/Home.htm

There is also good information and contacts here
http://www.cleo.on.ca/english/pub/onpub/PDF/seniors/elderab.pdf

I would also contact your mom's local Community Care Access unit to see if they can recommend some actions. This is the organization through which senior care services are coordinated, including social workers.
http://www.ccac-ont.ca/Content.aspx?LanguageID=1

Hope this helps to get you started.

Mary G.
Toronto