Expert: Mary Gordon - 11/24/2009

Question
My father in law has Alzheimer and we want him to come stay with us for the Christmas holidays.  He will have to fly alone and change planes in Salt Lake.  I know he would not be able to get from one plane to the other.  He is not violent or anything, but can't remember where he is where he is going where he is from, basically anything necessary to travel.  Is there any service provided by the airlines to help get him from one plane to the other and make sure he gets on the plane not wander off?  Any help or ideas or hints would be appreciated.

Answer
Hi Gay -

There is only one airline as far as I know that offers any meaningful travel assistance for the unaccompanied traveller with a cognitive impairment. It's Northwestern.
http://www.smartertravel.com/travel-advice/travelers-with-alzheimers-and-other-c...

Having said that, my personal take is that even if you were able to arrange both connecting flights with Northwestern and pay for their service, I would be extremely leery - it is so extremely dangerous for your father, I'm not sure I would trust even Northwestern. At your Dad's stage of the disease, I would only attempt air travel if he has a same sex relative or family friend who can accompany him the whole way (it has to be a male, because chances are good your father will need assistance with toileting, and whoever his "minder" is will have to take your dad with him into the washroom rather than risk leaving your dad sitting alone in a waiting area where he might wander off).

Think of this as no different than contemplating sending a two year old alone on a trip that involves changing planes. It just isn't safe. He cannot be left alone for one minute. He will be completely disoriented in a large bustling airport, and he cannot be trusted to stay put for one minute if the "minder" sits him down and tries to attend to something else, say to inquire about departures, or stand in line for a coffee or sandwich. Your dad will also not know what to do if anything should go wrong. He cannot think through logical actions, or how to articulate his situation to ask for assistance. He is unlikely to be able to answer many questions either - making it doubly difficult.

I know how much you want to see him, and how you have some hopeful visions of a happy visit, but stand back and really think this through - based on who he really is, right now, today, and not on who he used to be, or who you so wish he still was.  Do you have a gut level understanding of his current condition and what he is really capable of ? Put his safety, comfort and serenity first before anything else.  Even if your father has not had angry outbursts, you will be putting him in an extremely stressful situation for an extended period of time, where he will not understand where he is, what is going on, who he is with etc. If he does become agitated because he's hungry, tired, disoriented, frightened, lost, what then?

I'm not trying to be negative - but having been through AD with my mother in law, I would give this idea much more careful thought, and be ruthlessly realistic about his current abilities - and equally flinty eyed about how much you can expect from a commercial airline in terms of keeping him safe.  You would never forgive yourself if something upsetting happened to him. You also have to really consider if he did make it to your house, is being out of his familiar routine and surroundings, surrounded by a lot of noise and bustle,  going to be a happy thing, or a challenging thing for him.

It really is a horrible illness. Your dad is lucky he has a family who thinks about him and want the best.

Mary G.