Expert: Michalene Peticca - 3/23/2009

Question
My mother-in-law is 69 and won't flush the toilet. She has been suffering memory loss and it getting worse fast. She lives in an upstairs apt and I am constantly worrying she will flood the person underneath. She has already done it once. I am constantly cleaning feces out of her toilet. My husband agrees we must get her out of that apt but refuses to bring her to our home.  He has taken time off recently to help but does need to go to his job for the good of our family. She is going to the doctor, but as yet has received a diagnosis.  In the meantime, I am so worried about what will happen.  She has never been a pleasant person and so it is hard for me to be around her as well. I just don't know what to do.  I am losing sleep and I have a high-functioning autistic child who really needs my attention right now. I feel like I am drowning and I can't handle much more of this stress. Please tell me what I can do or where I can go for help!!

Answer
Hello Vanessa,

I am so sorry for your family concerns!

Please contact your local Office of Aging (you'll find their number in the Government pages of your Yellow page book) and let them know the situation.  They will assign a caseworker and visit and your family can decide what to do at that point.

My prayers are with you.

Best Regards,

Michalene Peticca, MA