AboutMichalene Peticca Expertise I'd be happy to help with any questions about Alzheimer's or Dementia diseases. I can also help with Medicare, Long term care & other insurance questions.
Experience I have my Masters degree in Geriatrics and am credentialed through the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, Pennstate Milton Hershey hospital and the American Geriatrics Society. I've been in healthcare for over 20 years and worked directly with Alzheimer's and Dementia individuals for most of that time. I am also a licensed insurance agent in PA and MD. Currently i train healthcare professionals to care for Alzheimer and Dementia individuals and i have been a care manager for guardianship services in PA
Organizations American Geriatrics Society
Education/Credentials Masters degree in Geriatrics
Licensed insurance agent in PA & MD.
Past/Present clients PHI Homes in Pennsylvania
York, Dauphin & Adams County Area on Aging
The Jewish Home of Harrisburg
Question Hello, I have an 80 year old mother who still works as a waitress in a restaurant. For several years now, we have noticed that her memory isn't always good. Sometimes it is short term but at others, it just seems that she makes things up that people said and swears it to be true! At first this was causing some confrontations that didn't end well as she would go from zero to 100 in angry and hurtful outbursts. She would even curse at me or my sister calling us terrible things. We decided not to confront her anymore with her inaccurate and made up stories, but as of late she has said some things to other family members that are hard to ignore. This past week she told my daughter in law that I think my granddaughter is autistic! Although she has some small speech pronunciation issues which we have all talked about, nobody including the Dr has ever said this child has something wrong with her! She is 3. More importantly is that I never said to my mother anything other than she was probably going to be evaluated for a little speech therapy.This caused my son and his wife a lot of upset and they then called to ask me if it was true. I assured them that it wasn't and later called my mother. She had seen a TV show that morning about autism and said it reminded her of the discussion I had with her saying that I thought my granddaughter had autism and that that was why she had a speech issue so she told my daughter in law about it when she saw her at work! When I gently told her that I never said that she lashed out at me and said that she knows she is having some memory problems but that she is positive we had a sit down discussion about this! I felt as though I was hit in the stomach...Several days later when she saw my son's wife at work, she verbally attacked her and told her she had a big mouth and she better stop talking to everyone. She also accused HER of also saying that her daughter might be autistic. There was much more ugliness, but you can get the idea. I don't know how to handle this. My kids are afraid to tell me anything she says now because of this. I live in another state. Where do I even begin...she won't let us talk to her doctor. Thanks
Answer Hello Lynn,
Thank you for writing. It sounds like this is challenging time for your family!
Your mother sounds quite "normal" in her aging process.
As we age, we tend to do 2 things: 1. have some forgetfulness because our brain just doesn't have the ability to as readily "file" new information. Some older folks may disagree with me on this...however, i find it is a combination of elders not wanting to file information and a bit of a slow down of the brain's ability to "process" information. 2. become less inhibited with what we say and do. That said, your mother probably is just expressing her beliefs and personality that she always had, but it is more amplified at this age. Let's face it...when we are 80, we've earned the "right" to say what we want.
So, the key here is Patience! Which is what i think you've started doing by ignoring some of her forgetfulness and crossing over of information. Please educate the rest of your family and enjoy the years left to focus on positive and happy experiences.
