AboutMary Gordon Expertise Several years direct experience as caregiver for family member who died of end stage AD. Did lots of research and dealt with a lot of health care professionals and caregivers over the 7 years from diagnosis to the end. Used various care options from community based resources to increasing levels of institutional. Mother of three, two born during our loved one's decline, so I know what it is to be the ham in the sandwich, taking care of the older generation and the younger at the same time and trying to balance everyone`s needs. Ask me, I`ve probably been there, done that. We made lost of mistakes and learned everything the hard way - but you don`t have to! If I can`t answer your question, I`ll steer you to a place or person who can.
Experience Currently a program manager for a large utility company. My Alzheimers experience comes from having the illness in our family. Out of necessity, we did a lot of research in order to understand the disease, plan for what might come next, and make the right decisions to help and support our loved one. Please note, I am a Canadian living in Toronto, and therefore am not the best person to ask about US regulations and insurance rules!
Question Dear Mary,
My sister and I had our Moms meds stopped. Mom is in stage 7 . I was told that because Mom was on these meds for so long that when they are stopped Mom will just bottom out. Is that true? We are really in hopes that she does. I don't want to sound mean but Mom has been through enough. I know Mom would not want us to keep her on this earth just for ourselves . Mom was a very strong person she took very good care of all three of her kids and we are very proud of her fight through out all this.
She has had a UTI for well over a month now the DR. has had her on meds for this but it just don't seem to be helping. Why is that? The DR. says its not time yet for hospis to be called in . Mom can still walk but she is leaning to one side , she also keeps her head down ,she cant eat solid foods she stopped wearing her teeth so she is on soft foods only. She is starting to get choked alot
We have a DNR and NO FEEDING TUBE,in place. I go see Mom 4 to 5 days a week I know all the nurses by name and they all know me by name ,I want to make sure they take very good care of my Mother . I also check Mom for redness bruises and any thing else I can think of.Is there any thing else I can do to make sure Mom is taken good care of? Thank you for being here for every one who is facing this.
sandy
Answer Hi Sandy, I know this is really hard on you. It's very hard to know how long she will hang on. It is very likely that she will spiral down now that she is off the Alzheimer's meds - the meds slow down the deterioration a bit, and now that they are stopped, things will progress faster. I totally understand the way you and your sister are feeling. There comes a point where it is not kind to prolong things.
She is getting UTIs because her overall condition is not good. Her immune system is not strong and she is probably not taking in enough nutrients and fluids. It is very common in the elderly - they get UTIs again and again, or they get it once and just can't seem to get rid of it. They tend not to have the symptoms a younger, healthier person gets, so a UTI can be very hard to detect until she's had it for a while and it's really entrenched.
She is choking because she is losing the coordination needed so chew and swallow . It is called dysphagia. Even if she was wearing her teeth, the same thing would be happening. Eventually, they even can have trouble with thin liquids and need them thickened with special additives or they aspirate and choke. It's just a horrible disease, isn't it.
I think you are doing all the right things, and it's obvious you and your sister really love her and want the kindest, most compassionate care for her.
