AboutMichalene Peticca Expertise I'd be happy to help with any questions about Alzheimer's or Dementia diseases. I can also help with Medicare, Long term care & other insurance questions.
Experience I have my Masters degree in Geriatrics and am credentialed through the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, Pennstate Milton Hershey hospital and the American Geriatrics Society. I've been in healthcare for over 20 years and worked directly with Alzheimer's and Dementia individuals for most of that time. I am also a licensed insurance agent in PA and MD. Currently i train healthcare professionals to care for Alzheimer and Dementia individuals and i have been a care manager for guardianship services in PA
Organizations American Geriatrics Society
Education/Credentials Masters degree in Geriatrics
Licensed insurance agent in PA & MD.
Past/Present clients PHI Homes in Pennsylvania
York, Dauphin & Adams County Area on Aging
The Jewish Home of Harrisburg
Question My Husband and two girls moved in with my mother 4 years ago after placing my father in a nursing home. He had Alzheimer and has since passed away. My mother started "losing" things shortly after we moved in and placed a locked on her bedroom door which she has my brother replace at least once since we have lived here. She claims that we had a key and were taking things like, photos, flash lights , recipes etc. My mother has always been obsessed with photos and since we moved in she has been making copies of copies of copies of her photos. Then she forgets where she has placed them and gets very angry ,mean and hateful stating that we are taking her things. She makes statements like " I'd rather be dead then live here with you. This caused such distress and heart ache with my daughters over the years that they have since moved out. Most times when I help my mother look for things in her pack rat of a bedroom we do find the item ,but she still claims we are stealing her photos. She told me once that she had hidden her recipes cards in her closet and she would get up at night to check to see if they were still there and then one night they were gone. Again she blamed me or my husband. Also she will find the smallest scratch on furniture and tell us how we are all just tearing up everything she owns. Today she turned the chairs on the porch over on there sides as she didn't think we pushed them under the table far enough. I know these episode are usually brought on because she isn't feeling well or she can't find something. I'm concerned that she has mentioned she would rather be dead on more than one occasion. I have taken her to her doctor,but she declined to take medication he recommended. I believe she is depressed as she sometimes wears the same out fit for up to 6 days in a row and gets angered if I point that out to her. I have helped her look for items, I have told her we are not taking her things and I have come right out and said "mom there are many people with dementia who are going through the same thing you are" and that just make her more angered
so this is my question. What can I do if anything to help her with her frustration, thinking I'm stealing her banana bread recipes and help my families frustration of her fits of anger and out right meanness? This has been so stressful on my family and my daughters who once adored their grandmother are so hurt over her accusations that they have taken silly itmes or photo of relatives they don't know and where dead long before they were born.
HELP!!!! What can I do to make this better????
Answer Hi Linda,
It sounds like this has been 4 years of very challenging times.
I guess the first question that comes to my mind is: who's idea was it for your family to move in with your mom? Was she the one to initiate?
The second question is: If it has been so difficult and really pulled your family apart...why are you all still there?
I don't mean to be disrespectful, it doesn't really seem like your mother has Dementia. It just appears to me that your mother's behaviors of hoarding are classic behaviors of feeling a loss of control. Hoarding is a very common reaction along with anger.
I would strongly urge you and your husband sit down with your mother and find out what would work best for Her.
Otherwise, yes, if she would take medication for anxiety and/or depression, it might be very effective for her.
I would work on building your relationship up again.
