Expert: Michalene Peticca - 2/17/2010

Question
My mother is in denial that anything is wrong with her memory.  It’s obvious to myself and my siblings that she needs to be tested or seen by the doctor about this specifically. She's 83 and in perfect health. I believe she could be taking medication now, to keep as much of her memory as possible, but she won't admit there is a problem. Lately, her behavior is dangerous. She doesn’t drive due to vision loss. She knows how to get to the corner store, but can’t find her way back. She and I walk there regularly. She left one day without me. I had no idea she was gone, and that a stranger had found her.  Mom could remember what street she lived on but that is all, once I noticed her missing and was about to call 911, I recognized my mother on the passenger side of a car driving by, and waved them down. (The stranger drove up and down our street very slowly hoping mom would recognize the house.) Mom ignores us when we tell her how dangerous that is. She gets very angry if anyone tries to talk to her about memory issues. I’m worried something will happen to her when I'm not home. How can we convince her to go to the doctor, and how do we bring this issue up if she refuses to talk about it?  Thanks so much for any advice you have.

Answer
Hello Marie,

It sounds like you have some current challenges with your mother that definately need to be addressed.  I'm glad you wrote.

Please contact your local Office of Aging (you will find them listed in the "government" pages of your phonebook or call the local courthouse) and talk directly to a caseworker and see
what help they can provide in terms of being an asset to You to help get your mom diagnosed or
at least taking her to her doctor office, etc.

Sometimes if someone Other than a family member gets involved, it is easier for our loved ones.  As it appears that she has no concerns with "strangers" helping her!

Call today and stress to them your mother's unsafe behaviors.  

Best Regards,
Michalene Peticca, MA