Expert: Paula Damgaard - 9/20/2011

Question
My Mom has alzheiner's and she is sleeping more and more. I think she has had for about 6yrs. I have to do bathing,clothing and everything except she can somewhat eat herself. She doesn't want to get up in the morning. Should I continue to make her get up???

Answer
Hi Wanda,
That is a double edged question! First I would want to know if she has been seen by a physician who specializes in Alzheimer's and is appropriately diagnosed. Then if she has gotten all the correct care, I would ask you, what is her quality of life?  Does she enjoy being awake? Is she able to participate in anything?

If she has gotten to the point where she only sits and stares at you when you wake her then I say "let sleeping dogs lie". I truly believe that some patients know when they have had enough. Maybe she is trying to tell you she has had enough.

You know your mom better than anyone, would she have wanted to live like this? I would guess no can't imagine anyone wanting this!  

I hope this helps. I am sorry for both of you. I know this is a hard time and these decisions are both hard and painful. But know in your heart that you are doing the best you can. And if anyone questions your decisions tell them to come get her and take her to their house!  They will return her very quickly I am sure!

Please feel free to write anytime, even if you don't have a question but just want to talk!  Take care of yourself first!
Paula