Expert: Mary Gordon - 2/4/2012

Question
Dear Mary,
Thanks for all your help in the past. My mother(aged 69) advanced alzheimer's, diagnosed nearly six years ago..she  has almost stopped walking. But if we prop her up.. she manages to stay up, as long as we're holding her. She can sit on a chair as long as there are arms. She sleeps a lot but sometimes is wide eyed and looks cheerful. She eats very well. I'm getting a wheel chair for her so that she can still enjoy the outdoors a bit. but i'm finding it increasingly difficult to make her sit on the pot in the toilet. when I bathe her , or to even make her sit or stand up. Every time I do that I hurt my back and it hurts for ages after..I'm also scared I might hurt her.. she frail and has weak skin. I also find that I don't have the strength to handle her.. and I'm young and able. and should be able to do all this...  is it something I need to learn on the job.. or is it a specialised skill that i probably need to go to a nursing home or somewhere to pick up.. I struggle to change her nappy at night because i make her get up and clean her etc.  I have a full time nursing aide who helps. but she can't handle her alone either..

Answer
Hi Nimi, don't blame yourself for finding her care difficult. As they become more helpless, it gets harder and harder to move them. After all, they are often limp and floppy and can't really follow your instructions - so it's like lifting a 100 pound sack of rice. They can be just a dead weight, and even if you are young and strong, you can hurt your back. Back problems are very common amongst nurses and orderlies who move patients all the time. Many institutions no longer let staff try to lift patients, but supply special equipment.

I don't know what your financial situation is, but there are many things that can make it easier to look after someone like her at home, such as a hospital type bed, that can be raised up, so you don't have to lean over so far to look after her, or lift her or roll her over. Even a tall with side rails might be helpful. There are also bath chairs you can seat the person on, and then give them a shower bath. There are high commodes with hand rails that are helpful.

I think your idea of asking a nurse or other professional for advice and some lessons is a good one. I know there are many tips and tricks for getting patients in and out of bed, into chairs, onto a toilet etc. without hurting yourself. It is even possible to make a bed with clean sheets with the person still in the bed.

There are lots of videos on youtube that demonstrate various methods such as these
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03uPFOl-sdA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uOq7cfhf7c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GZNTckLx4I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5mZyo6dLCg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISt-9Psdkes

This is not going to get easier for you - she will be more and more helpless.  You may need a second aid. Look after yourself. If you are hurt or ill and worn out, you can't look after her at all.

Thinking of you - you are doing the best you can, and she is very lucky to have such a fine family to care for her.