Alzheimer`s Disease/Alzheimer's Progression


My mother-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimerís 5-6 years ago. Since her diagnosis, she has steadily declined and, as a result, can no longer live by herself. She cannot remember how to cook or even heat something up in the microwave. In addition, she never wants to eat, always saying she is full. She is now at the point where she no longer knows the day, month, or year and will repeatedly ask the same question over and over even though we answered five seconds before. When she first came to live with us a little over a year ago, she would do a sponge bath, using water and a wash cloth (no soap) saying she didnít need a full bath because she wasnít really dirty. Now her personal hygiene has declined to the point where she no longer even takes sponge baths. She does not know her address or phone number and does not remember significant events like Christmas, Thanksgiving, or going to a wedding. Her ability to count has diminished to the point that she believes 2 comes after 3 when counting to 10. She can still dress herself though she needs to be told how to dress for occasions and she doesnít need any assistance with toileting. She still remembers the names of close family members but does not know more distant family members or family friends she has known for many years. She used to stand straight as an arrow when she walked. Now she stoops forward when she stands and walks very slowly and deliberately. My husband feels that his mother is not that bad off and we should not worry about discussing the possibility of putting her into a nursing home when the time warrants. Currently, she does not need to live in such a facility, but I know that she will at some point. As far as staging, where do you think she is? How long before we will see even more decline (need help dressing, toileting, wandering issues, etc.)? How can I help him understand that these issues need to be discussed?

Hello Katy:  I'm very sorry to hear of your mother-in-law's increasing decline.  I'm sure it's very, very difficult for your husband to accept this even though it is happening right in front of him.  It's a natural response to try to mitigate the progression and it sounds as if he is doing that.  You are correct in that she will continue to progress in her dementia.  She will not improve.  There are several scales in use for staging the dementia, but I tend to just go with mild, moderate and severe, and based on what you've told me, I might rate her as moving into the severe stage.  It's not really important to put a label on it.  You must meet her wherever she is today, in this moment regardless of the stage and react accordingly to keep her safe, happy and healthy.  My advice is to begin looking at facilities now.  Get on their waiting lists so that when (not IF), the crisis happens, you will be ahead of the game in a stressful time.  If the facility calls you with a bed, you can always tell them "Not right now, thanks."  Ask them to keep you on the list.  She will have a crisis--either a fall with a fracture, or severe injury; or she will wander outside and become lost, or injured.  She may aspirate food or fluids and get pneumonia.  Her brain is forgetting how to walk, how to swallow and how to keep herself safe.  There are endless possibilities, and the more prepared you are, the easier it will be for all of you.  Wherever she eventually gets placed will depend on her mobility.  If she's mobile and could escape, she should be in a secure dementia unit.  If she's not mobile, then somewhere where she would be comfortable and your husband would be happy leaving her in that setting. If your husband is adamant about not seeing the reality of this situation, please don't press him to.  When the crisis happens, he will be forced to act, and it will work out one way or another, but asking him to look down the road now and see the sad ending may be too much for him.  He has to come to the table in his own way with this.  As long as she is receiving care, and not being neglected in any way, she's in an okay place.  Just don't hesitate to act once the crisis does happen.  
The rate of her decline is not a question that can be easily answered.  It's best answered by her primary physician.  It will depend on if she has other conditions going on such as heart disease, diabetes, etc.  Conditions such as those will hasten the decline, but again, it's a guess as to how much.  She could very well linger where she is for several years.  It's vitally important that you are not being overly burdened with her care, so you must speak up if it reaches that point.  I wish you much luck Katy with your troubling situation.  Cindy  

Alzheimer`s Disease

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Cindy Keith, RN, BS, Certified Dementia Practitioner


As a nurse and dementia consultant, I can answer most questions on all types of dementia. If I cannot answer your question, I will attempt to find someone who can. My passion is to help caregivers of people with dementia, which in turn helps all those wonderful elders with dementia live better lives. When caregivers are better educated, they are able to better care for themselves and their loved ones, so education is key to decreased stress levels and healthier, happier families.


I have worked as a nurse in various disciplines of nursing for over 20 years, most of which was with the elderly. I was a health care coordinator in a dementia dedicated assisted living facility for 4 years before I started my own business (M.I.N.D. in Memory Care) as a dementia consultant six years ago. As a dementia consultant, I help families nationwide through phone conference calls as they struggle to care for their loved ones with dementia.

Alzheimer's Foundation of America Geriatric Interest Network Sigma Theta Tau International

Published "Love, Laughter, & Mayhem - Caregiver Survival Manual For Living With A Person With Dementia" which is a collection of stories about people with dementia I have known, loved and worked with. Every story has a lesson to teach and this book gently teaches family caregivers lessons about how to better care for their loved one, as well as themselves during their caregiving journey. Published "Love, Laughter, & Mayhem In Eldercare Facilities: The Master Key For Dementia Training" Created "Bringing Nurturing To Memory Care" staff dementia training video Created Ebook: "Hair Stylist's Helpful Tips For Working With People With Alzheimer's & Other Dementias"

Registered Nurse with Bachelor's degree in Nursing; Certified Dementia Practitioner; Author of 2 books and an ebook

Awards and Honors
Sigma Theta Tau National Honor Society of Nursing

©2016 All rights reserved.