Expert: Michalene Peticca - 7/31/2007

Question
If a person with Alz. keeps hurting your feelings, intentionally or untentionally, do you have to keep exposing yourself to the hurts? What if someone had an illness that caused them to stab people. Would you have to keep going around then to get stabbed even though it was an illness?

Thank you,
Julie

Answer
Hello Julie,
I believe you wrote me the other day about your mom and these same questions?

I am glad your thinking through how you would handle this situation for yourself.  

Again, i would strongly recommend that this is a Personal decision that only You can make.  That is, a person can only hurt your feelings if you allow your feelings to be hurt.   Make sense?  We aren't controlled by others, we can only control ourselves and how we React to other people.   It's the "consider the source" kind of theory.   

But, no, your are not forced to be around someone who you feel hurts your feelings.  

This is NOT the same as someone Physically harming you.  Indeed, NO one would keep going around someone to get stabbed.  I didn't see in your previous letter that the Alzheimer's person was physically violent to you.

Hope this helps!
Best Regards,
Michalene Peticca M.A.