Expert: Paula Damgaard - 9/29/2004

Question
My mom has Alzheimer's - I canNOT get her to take a shower.  Every time I ask her to take a shower she tells me she already took one.  I know she believes that she did, but I also know she hasn't taken a shower.  It's very frustrating.  I don't want to get her upset, so I just go along with her and try another tactic the next day.  Help!  I've tried everything.

Thank you.

Answer
Hi Ginny,  I know the feeling!  I hated to give my mother a bath!  She used to scream and pinch me til I let her out of the bath.

Have you tried not asking her?  Get up before her go into the bathroom turn on the shower and then go in and wake her.  Tell her come on it's time for your shower.  Make it light and easy, like this is the plan of the day!  No questions or choices.  Just this is the way it is going to be.  If you ask her "social self" will answer that she has taken a shower cause that is an appropriate answer.  As your mother there is no need for you to ask her to take a shower!  

Whenever you need to get her to do something always make it seem like this is the way it was planned.  If you ask the normal answer is to say no, I don't want to bother you.  

I hope this helps.  If you still can't get her to shower you can do alternative things.  Like me I avoided bathing my mother like the plague!  I bought flushable wipes for her to use as toilet paper so I knew her butt was clean,  then there was always the occassion to tell her to wash her face and hands so I had that covered.  Then for her hair, as a child she always had her hair washed in the kitchen sink, so that is how we washed it.  Sometimes I would take her to the mall to haircut place and have them wash it.  That was a "normal" thing to do.  
There are also waterless sheets that you can get that will "wash" your mother without having to put her in water.  You can find these in drugstores and even places like WalMart I think.

Well I am running out of ideas so I hope this helps!  Let me know.  I will check around and see what else I can find if these don't work.  Paula