Expert: Paula Damgaard - 5/12/2006

Question
I TAKE CARE OF A 87 YEAR OLD WOMEN AND SHE HAS ALZHIEMERS. SHE IS PRETTY HEALTHY OTHER WISE. BUT SHE IS GETTING A MEANESS ABOUT HER. LIKE WHEN SHE PEES HER PANTS I ASK HER TO GO CHANGE HER PANTS AND DEPENDS SHE WILL TELL ME NO. AND WHEN I ASK HER TO CHANGE HER DEPEND SHE SAYS YOUR BEING MEAN. SO WHAT SHOULD I DO. IS THIS APART OF THE ALZHIEMER. OR WHEN I WANT TO CHANGE HER SHEETS, SHE TELLS ME NO. AND FIGHTS WITH ME. IS THIS NORMAL. WHEN SHE WANTS TO FIGHT I JUST STAY QUITE AND I WONT SAY A WORD TO HER, IS THIS THE WAY TO HANDLE IT. WE LOVE HER DEARLY AND ITS HARD TO SEE HER CHANGE.

Answer
Lori, yes it is part of the disease.  I ask you to look at how you approach her regarding when she messes her pants or when you need to change her bed.  Do you point out that she urinated in her pants and they need to be changed? if so try to change how you approach her.  If you see that she has wet her pants perhaps you could say something like "Granny (or whatever her name is)your pants are all wet!  I wonder how that happened???  Come with me and let me help you change out of them.  I can't imagine who would make your pants wet that is so silly!"  This takes the whole embarassement, accussatory tones away and makes it known that you aware of her wet pants but you don't think she had anything to do with it.  Same with the bed.  

When my mother was alive, with this disease, I was the dumbest person living cause everything that she did I took responsibility for!  It was easier to make me look stupid or silly than to reason with her that she could have possibly done that!

I hope this makes sense.  If you try this and it doesn't help, there are medications that you can give her to help tone this behavior down.  Sometimes an antidepressant helps.  Even if you don't think she is depressed, they work with this group of people.  if that doesn't you may need to try a small dose of  antipsychotic drug like risperdal or Seroquel.  

Good luck, my thoughts are with you.  Paula