Expert: Alanna Shaikh - 1/12/2008

Question
QUESTION: Dad is 88 years old now and has been living with us for over 2 years. At this stage, he can occupy himself but gets little meaning out of reading, etc.  He constantly wants me to sit with him, help!  He forgets I have been spending lots of time...He follows me around...

ANSWER: Dear Pat,

You are doing a really wonderful thing for your dad by having him with you. He is very lucky.

Needing constant company and attention is a very common symptom for someone with Alzheimer's Disease. Old activities which occupied people grow too difficult, and short-term memory loss can lead to loneliness.

The first thing I would suggest to you is an adult day care program. My own father is in an adult day program, and he loves it. He misses his program on weekends and looks forward to going every day. You can find programs through your local council on aging, or through the national eldercare locator at http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare/Public/Home.asp.

If you cannot find a structured program for your father, could you have a friend or relative visit him periodically? They could listen to music or watch television with him, or take him on an outing. People may not volunteer, but they are often happy to help you if you can ask for specific assistance for one thing.

You can also try to find activities that occupy your father. He may not be able to enjoy reading any more, but could you find a television program he likes? He may also like unexpected kinds of books. Some people with dementia like to look at cookbooks, art books, or photograph albums. Listening to the radio is also a possibility.

If you want to write me again with more details on your father's interests and abilities I would be happy to brainstorm some more possibilities with you.

Best,
Alanna

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Opinion?
Dad took Aricept at 1/2 pill 2 evenings, and then got nauseous and no appetite.  Had a slight fever.  Advice nurse and consultants suggested wait and try Aricept in 2-3 days.  
Dad seems more disoriented now.  Last night when he saw me he did not recall we live together.  
Can't figure out how to keep him from having his lamp on continually and night light does not work.
I did figure a way to ck. his toilet!
Yes, all your ideas we do and he his interest is lessening as time goes by.  His dr. gave me contact with a social worker.  
All his blood tests, etc. are good, but he seems tired.
I am tired and not 88 years old!
He does enjoy reading but helps him understand to a point if I get involved in his reading.
He really enjoys the oldie humor book I got him, but mostly when I help him understand what he is reading.
But, I am really doing ok and hopefully, my husband and I can get out soon as we get his care situated.
And mom's physical health is worsening, but sure pleased with his cognitive alertness.  She still wants to live alone.  

Answer
Dear Pat,

Have you tried a motion sensor light for him? Then it would turn itself off when he fell asleep. They have lots of motion sensors at Amazon.com.

I would say that stick with the Aricept as long as your doctor tells you to.

Other than than, all I can say is hang in there. You're doing something tough. Remember what I said in my private message - take care of yourself, too.

Best,
Alanna