Expert: Paula Damgaard - 7/17/2006

Question
Mom has been in a nursing home since Aug 05'
Mom began cursing and swearing and attacking the residents and staff.
Today they brought her to a psych evaluation to be placed in a secured facility at the hospital.
I've noticed that it appears that mom has had mini strokes again. The left side is droopy as well as when she tries to talk.
What happens next?
My mom is only 58 and I've been dealing with this for 6 years now.....
Thank you

Answer
Dear Carmen,  sorry it took so long to answer this I am out of state at meetings and have limited email access.  

I would hope that the psych people will be able to figure out what is causing her to all of a sudden react this way.  Sometimes people with dementia have infections which cause them to act out.  I hope they work her up for everything to find the answer.

What happens next then is really up to you.  You need to decide if what you are allowing them to do to your mother will give her quality of life rather than just quantity.  Ask the physicians that are caring for her if they are going to give her quality or quantity?  Do you really want your mom to continue to live like this or would she be better off if she got an infection and died peacefully?  

With all the new medicines we are now treating people for things that would have allowed them to die a long time ago.  I don't necessarily think this is a good thing because we end up giving them quantiy rather than quality. How would your mother answer this question if you could ask her?

I hope they get this straightened out for you and that you can get some relief for your self.  Remember you are no good to her if you are ill.  Take care and please write again if you need.  Paula