Expert: Paula Damgaard - 11/28/2007

Question
This might be long, but I need to ask.  For about 25 years now, my mom never paid attention to things when it came to home life.  She is a school nurse and work doesn't seem to think anything is wrong.  We always thought it was my father just controlling everything and her letting him.  She has always missed appointments, she would never write things down, you would ask her to do something and she would forget it.  This is a long time now.  Now it's a lot worse and she's 68.  She doesn't remember full conversations.  She still misses appointments, but now she's repeating stories over and over.  She is still a school nurse and we are all very upset about this. She went to a doctor and had an MRI and it showed a little deterioration at the stem of her brain, but nothing major.  What are your thoughts?  It's getting so bad.  Do you think she's so used to my dad taking care of everything, that it's just HER?

Answer
The best way to settle this is to have her see either a neurologist who specializes in dementias or a geriatric physician who does.  Making sure that she does a full battery of Neuropsych testing (memory tests) and has a complete work up to include a neurological exam, bloodwork and then have that all reviewed by the specialist and they can tell you what is going on.  

Guessing doesn't get anyone anywhere and the longer you put this off, the less chance the medicines that are available will help her.  so get your family together and tell them this is for her own good.  That you are trying to save them hundreds of dollars, because if she isn't put on medicine, she will decline at a faster rate and that would eventually mean nursing home and those are very expensive.

Hope they work with you.  If you don't know where to find a specialist call the Alzheimer's Association, or if you live near a University Hospital, call and ask if they have Memory Center.  Good luck.  Paula