Expert: Mary Gordon - 9/21/2004

Question
Hi, my stepfather, who is 81, was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. My mother, who is 71, is the primary caregiver for him. After his diagnosis, my mother started looking into his finances, which is something he never allowed her to do in the past. Well, it seems that he has, over the last couple of years,signed up for several credit cards(all in his name) & he has run them up tremendously. When my mother called them to inform them of his condition, they will not talk to her because she is not "on the card". Now that she is having to pay the bills, there is not enough money to take care of all the payments. They receive only social security. Is there someway that these bills could be reduced or written off because my stepfather has no idea how they got that high. Could she file for bankruptcy for him? Also, since in the future he may have to go to a nursing home, is there anyway for her to avoid losing their home (which is paid for)? All these things are worrying her tremendously & I want to help  her as much as I can. We live in a rural section of North Carolina, where there are very few resources available without having to travel a good distance. Please help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  

Answer
Here are some places to start:

http://www.elderlawfirm.com/index-2.html - scroll down to the bottom and click on "links" next to the Legal Survival Guide link, and you will see many contacts worth pursuing with respect to legal and financial advice, and other services (don't be put off by the fact the web page is maintained by a private law firm - the links are useful).

Directory of state services in North Carolina
http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/aging/contents.htm

A one stop hotline that might be able to help steer you in the right direction, or tell you who might be able to help in your area.
http://www.seniormag.com/headlines/just1call.htm

And the search engine to find an Alzheimer's support group near you that can suggest resources.
http://www.alz.org/findchapter.asp

I know that North Carolina  (like many places) has two types of power of attorney which your mother will absolutely need - and in fact should NOT delay in obtaining. The first is a durable power of attorney for health care decisions and the second is a durable power of attorney for financial matters. Your stepfather may not be legally able to sign documents much longer, and your mother must have the ability to deal with his financial affairs (and if she had a power of attorney, she would be able to deal with the cards, for example). Without a power of attorney, she may end up in court trying to get the right to manage his affairs (and sometimes that is ugly, since it can involve having the person declared incompetent).

Your mother must see a lawyer and get some advice about her options to preserve what she can of their joint assets, particularly since she is relatively young and will want to be able to maintain a reasonable lifestyle. Don't let her be dissuaded by the cost of a lawyer - it will be money well spent to get some really good guidance with this situation  - without some expert guidance to get her out of this mess, she IS going to lose her house. Never mind the bills she can't pay (which is bad enough in itself) - if he survives very long and needs nursing home care, he may not qualify for assistance until all their assets are exhausted. The rules for Medicaid are very convoluted.

If I were you, I'd go through the web pages and start making some calls to find out what services and supports are available to her, and line up some legal and financial advice STAT. You can get at a lot of help and advice via the web and the telephone so when you do arrange for face to face meetings, you are more sure you are in the right place.

Hope this helps

Mary Gordon