Expert: Paula Damgaard - 1/10/2005

Question
I have a few...
1)How do I decide it is time to move a family member into long-term care?
2)What factors do I need to consider when seeking long-term care for a person with dementia?

Answer
This is one of the hardest questions to decide!  Safety should be the biggest determinating factor.  Safe for the person, safety for the caregiver.  Caregivers are at a big risk for being in unsafe situations cause they don't know that they are burning out.

What to look for:
First visit numerous places, show up unanounced. You want to catch them as "they are" not in their "planned happy faces".  You want to be able to take in all the sights, sounds and smells.

Ask if they have family meetings.  If so invite yourself to a meeting.  Listen to what the families are asking for - are they reasonable or are they questions a guilty person would ask?  Try to speak to family members outside of the meeting when no staff are around, make sure you get to speak to a few, don't want to risk the possibility of speaking to the one "rotten apple".  

Ask if your loved one could come in for a respite visit.  This would allow you to have your loved one stay a week or so and you can see how it plays out.

Call the Alzheimer's Assoc.  they wouldn't be able to give specific recommendations, but it has been my experience that if they happen to leave out a few that is probably for a good reason.

Biggest thing to remember is that NO PLACE is going to make you 100% happy.  We are after all individuals who think only we can give the BEST care.  But caregivers need a break and this is a HUGE job.  

I know that if you were to ask anyone in a nursing home if they ever wanted to be a burden they would say absolutely NO.  
Good Luck.  Let me know how it goes.  Paula