Expert: Paula Damgaard - 9/5/2006

Question

My dad has Parkinson's and also has Dementia.
We have hospice coming to assisted living home,
they say to me all the time, the end is very near for my dad. he is still eating and walking around, and drinking a lot of fluids. my question to you is, can anybody really say when someone time is near?I was told by them he had about one month, that was 5 months ago. This is so hard on my family.
thank you so much


Answer
Nancy, The only one that I know who can really say when someone is going to die is God.  I know that Hospice people do have vague ideas about when someone will die, but I wonder what makes them think your Dad is going to go at anytime?  Besides his dementia and PD how is the rest of him?  Does he have any other illnesses?  Not knowing anymore than what you are telling me, makes me want to know why they are saying this.

I would ask them what makes them think that.  Usually when someone is close to death they stop eating and drinking, not to mention walking around.  

I can imagine this is hard on your family.  If I were you I would concentrate on giving him as much quality of life as you can.  Meaning, if he loves ice cream bring it everyday!  I wouldn't necessarily change Hospice's course in his care, but I would do what I could to make him happy everyday.  

I hope this helps.  Please let me know how you are doing.  Paula