Expert: DarkDivah - 11/1/2008

Question
Hey I'm 18 and have an average penis (6 in length, 5in girth)and am a virgin. My girlfriend is pretty tight down there i guess. She's had sex a couple times before with one other guy who was big. She said he never really got it in it hurt and she basically had sex once. I could not get my penis in her last night. She got on top of me. She was wet i could feel it. And as she came down on to me it just went in about an inch and I couldn't go any further. I think it just stopped at the hole. She said it hurt but i dont think it would have gone in even if it didn't hurt becuase it kinda hurt me pulling on my penis. Are males ever supposed to get pain like stretching pain in their penis? How can I get it in? I've fingered her before. Was she not aroused enough? Vaginismus?  Help with any tips you can give please.

Answer
Hi Kevin

Although I am an expert in the area of Amateur Erotica, yours is more a sex and sexuality question and you might want to look up an expert listed in those two categories I will give you my insight.

Firstly, you're young and there is so much you are yet to experience when it comes to sex. Some pressure on the penis is normal especially the first time and especially if the girl involved is also a virgin and/or had few sexual experiences.
The female sex organs are an enigma, although we know what goes where and why, many women will tell you that there are no two times where the body reacts in exactly the same way.

On the subject of vaginismus; it is possible, but unlikely, however if it is something that she experiences every time she has sex then a visit to the gynecologist could be in order.

Most of the time entry problems are from lack of stimulation and lack of lubrication as well as the inability to relax and enjoy. Nervousness can be a hard hurdle to overcome when it comes to intercourse.

My advice is to slow down, learn to enjoy each other and don't make the sex all about the act of putting your penis in the vagina, that's just one part of being intimate. Foreplay is essential... it's like warming up your car in winter. Has to be done in order to have a warm and comfortable ride.
In some women even with arousal,extra lubrication ( like KY Jelly) is needed until they get into the act. It is also sometimes needed with the use of condoms no matter how "wet" the woman gets.

Most of all... PLEASE PLAY SAFE! You didn't say if you were having safer sex, please use condoms! The beauty of sex can quickly be destroyed when one receives a sexually transmitted disease. Condoms are your best and only defense next to abstinence.

BE SAFE, RELAX, HAVE FUN and just let things fall into place... don't force the issue, that sometimes makes it worse.

~Divah