Expert: Fr. Chris Larimer - 5/12/2011

Question
QUESTION: Hi,
I have (had) a boyfriend that is extremely religious. He is a lay reader, youth representative for his diocese and does much more. We have had issues lately because he believes that in a relationship you need spiritual connections along with other connections which i cannot offer. Other than that we are perfect for each other. I have shown interest in his church activities and have offered to attend church on some occasions to support his believes even though they are not my own. I am willing to do anything for our relationship to work but i cannot change my views. Do you think there is anything i can do to help with our religious differences? I really don't want to loose him so if you have any ideas they will be greatly appreciated
- Crystal

ANSWER: Is it simply that you are not an Anglican? Or is it that you do not believe the Christian faith?

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: its not the fact im not Anglican i dont think. Its the fact that i have had previous not so great religious experiences that have made me doubt it. But i dont know what i believe. Im confused about my faith.

Answer
I can understand that, Crystal.

What we believe about the universe, ourselves, and God are core foundational commitments of our character. It is understandable, then, that he would be reticent to deeply commit to someone who does not share those values. I have two pieces of advice:

1) Attend services with him regularly. The Anglican way is not the only way, but it is a reliable way of being a Christian. We have a knack for meeting people where they are and allowing them to enter the community at their own pace. We believe - and live out - our conviction that faith is "caught" as much as it is taught. Being around people of faith will help you understand its importance in our lives...and prompt you to ask questions that might otherwise just be a niggling hitch at the back of your mind.

2) Pray that God would reveal himself to you. We affirm with the Psalmist that the heavens declare the glory & handiwork of God (Psalm 8), and that God has left a firm witness of his divinity in the created order (Romans 1). We also believe that God wants people to seek after him (Acts 17:24-31). He sent Jesus to reveal the Father to us (John 10:30; John 14:8-12).  Ask God to reveal himself to you - and ask that he do it for the sake of Jesus Christ.

I am confident that God answers that prayer.

Isaiah 55:6 (New Living Translation)

6 Seek the Lord while you can find him.
     Call on him now while he is near.