Expert: Meg - 1/19/2008

Question
I'm 15 years I'm only 5,2" old most of my life i was a little bigger than most girls,because genetically I'm was suppose to be tall, but I go to food when I'm angry,frustrated and when I'm sad i don't eat at all. I started starving my self around the age of 11 when i couldn't take the ridiculing any longer, i lost some weight by staying locked in my room for 6 days and compulsively doing sit ups from sun up to sun down and only leaving when i felt i was going to pass out from dyhydrations.I gradually gained it back and then some, then i starve my self again but don't lose as much until i get caught by my mother. i go threw this cycle yearly and now i found my self at my highest weight and i cant break away from over eating, now I'm over weight I'm 5,2" 160 lbs and I just want to be in healthy again and not have to kill my self with long strenuous exercises and starvation any more,some one please help me.

Answer
Hi Jayda,

Thanks for your note and I'm sorry that you're having trouble with your weight and body image.  I think this is something that many women face and its especially difficult when you're still in the process of growing up and growing into your body, as you are now at 15.  

It sounds to me like you've been feeling unhappy about your body for awhile now and that you have noticed that you turn to food to deal with feelings some of the time.  I think its wonderful that you are self aware enough to recognize that anger and frustration lead you to eat more and that sadness causes you to not eat.  Really, being able to see this so clearly shows a lot of maturity on your part.  

It also sounds like you have used lots of unhealthy ways to try to control your weight and that this has happened for awhile.  All of these things are reason for concern, as you know and I think its very good that you're looking for a way out of this.  

In a simplified answer, I would say that you need to find healthy ways to deal with the emotions that you are using food to deal with (anger, frustration, sadness) and also find a healthy meal plan that doesn't involve starvation or drastic means so that your body can normalize.  When you restrict and don't eat for long periods of time, this can mess up your metabolism and cause your body to hold onto calories more than it would usually.  So, eating regular, healthy meals is a good way to start and I have no doubt will help you stop overeating.  And, finding constructive ways to deal with the difficult feelings (like writing in a journal, going for a walk, punching a pillow, playing music, calling a friend, coloring or drawing) is the other aspect that will probably be a little more difficult in that you have to find what works for you-but will help you move past this and be healthy and happy with your body and weight.

Here is a link that might help you get started with that:

http://www.something-fishy.org/reach/toolbox.php

I hope this helps and please write again if there is anything more I can help with.

Take care,
Meg