Expert: Joanne - 10/1/2008

Question
Lately my best friend has been acting different and i think she may be anorexic. The past few months she's been working out a lot and not eating as much as she usually does. Right now she weighs 99 lbs and she's 5'2 a month ago she was around 109. She doesnt eat breakfast and rarely eats anything for lunch, dinner is pretty much her only meal of the day besides a piece of fruit. A lot of people have noticed her weight loss including her mother but her mother hasn't done anything about it so i feel that its up to me. Please give me advice on how i should do so. Thank you

Answer
Madison

I often find it hard to comment on being the friend of a sufferer as I have limited experience of this, but will try my best!

It is important not to make assumptions to quickly, but it is just as important not to brush it to one side and forget about it!

Some people do genuinely just attempt to lose weight and diet, taking things to the extreme, eating very little, but it doesn't always last long - crash dieting.  You should really become worried about this when she doesn't seem to give up.  Also listen carefully to comments she makes about food.  Is she quite open about how little she is eating - many people on a diet will brag about how they have managed to go through the day on very few calories, somebody with anorexia is much more likely to conceal this information from those around them, making out they are in fact eating a lot more than they are.

Try to listen to anything she has to say - does she put herself down a lot in away that you know that she is truly unhappy with herself?  Does she talk about herself negatively, and more about her personality than actual looks?  Does she ever comment about guilt when eating?  Disappear to the bathroom after meals?  There are so many warning signals - I recommend visiting www.something-fishy.org to find a full list.

I am not sure how old you are, or the laws of the area you live in, but for the majority of people that suffer from an eating disorder, there is little you can do to help medically.  You are unable to force them into treatment until they are at such an unstable point they can be held/sectioned against their will.  You just need to be there to listen to her if she wants to talk, and encourage her to get help if you can, letting her know that you will support her throughout this.  If you are extremely concerned, then it may be worth talking to someone about this - a teacher if you are at school, a relative, basically anyone that you think can help her see that she needs professional treatment if she is suffering from an eating disorder.

Joanne