Expert: Ginger M. - 10/22/2008

Question
Hi there! I am not sure what exactly to write but i will start with a little history i am 28 and i was/am anorexic not to sure where i am. About a year ago i became a sever anorexic i became very ill so much i could not get out of bed. Today i seem to be doing alright the "voice" is sometimes around but i seem to have a hold on it. I guess my problem is i seem to have gotten into another habbit of restricting and bingeing i will not eat for two days if i do it will be a small salad or a cup of soup and on the 3rd day i will eat for example a whole bag of grapes, rice cakes, cereal, spagettie usually i try to keep my binges as low fat as possible but there are times when i guess i need the sugar that i will eat a bag of cookies or a big bowl of ice cream...anyways you get what i am trying to say. I just dont know what to do about this i feel very stressed i dont know how to go about changing this habbit cause i am very stubburn to see someone. On top of trying to fix my eating habbits in recovery for drinking ( 2weeks now) i just feel like everything is pilling on and im afraid that i will become so stressed that there will be major set backs.

Thanks

Answer
Hi Jess,

Thank-you for your question! I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed.

Congratulations on going into recovery for drinking! That's amazing and you should be really proud of yourself for that! I'm not surprised your ED would get worse at this particular time- they have an annoying way of doing that. I used to be in a similar situation- after I came out of recovery for ED the first time, I became addicted to prescription drugs (sleeping pills). When I started rehab for the pills, the ED came back. My therapist explained to me that this is because EDs really are an addiction- and once we lose one addiction, unless we get counseling, we often pick up another one.

One hard part of the situation is that if you're restricting, you're starving your brain and that makes it unable to deal with stress as easily (it took me a long time to believe this, but I know for sure that it's true). Your brain needs calories and energy to be able to function properly and make good decisions. Can you try eating small things throughout the day, instead of restricting so you end up so famished that you binge? Protein (chicken breast, cottage cheese and regular cheese are good ones) will help you feel full longer than the carbs you are bingeing on and may help. Nutritional drinks like Boost or Ensure are also high in nutrients and good for you, and not high in calories. Restricting, like you are now, is going to send your body into starvation mode, and start to hold on to every calorie you take in. Remember how sick you were a year ago, when you couldn't get out of bed? You don't deserve to be miserable like that again!

You say you're very stubborn to see someone- have you ever been to a therapist or nutritionist? It's not as bad as you think- most times, I feel like hugging my therapist when I leave! I don't know anyone with an ED that has been able to conquer it alone, unfortunately ... and a therapist who specializes in ED can really help you see things in a different light. I know it's scary at first, but I don't think it'll take long at all for you to realize the good it does, and how much better you'll feel when you have that kind of support, for both your ED and the drinking.

You should also try and do something nice for yourself each week to de-stress. I know this is probably hard for you, since if you're like most people with EDs, it's difficult sometimes to see yourself as being worth it. But you are! I already know from your e-mail that you're a strong woman- going into recovery for drinking isn't easy, but you're doing it, and you have the insight to know you need to get control of your ED now before it gets worse. That's more than a lot of people could do! Do this for me, if you can: make a list of things you like to do that make you feel relaxed or pampered, for instance, having a manicure, getting a massage, taking a long bubble bath and reading in the tub, etc. etc. etc. Make a point of doing at least one of these things each week.

I understand where you're coming from and I know what it feels like, but if you get away from the "voice" and concentrate on recovering, you will feel so much better- trust me! I'm here for you if you need me, and can give you my e-mail address if you like. Please feel free to write again.

Ginger